#(yup he's not really that kind of active there in a past 1 or 2 years rn)

[gxtzeizm]

having a vivid dream really hurts like hell realizing that it's actually not freaking real because i was thought it was really true at that time 😭😭💔

[blackcloverdatabase]

English Translation of Novel 2: Chapter 4 - Captains' Dinner Party (Part 1 of 2)

Here is my first translation of the Black Clover novels. These chapters are huge, so I’m splitting this chapter into two parts, making this section about 6500 words long. This first half features Marx and Julius at the beginning, then transitions into the dinner party itself. Asta and Yuno also get mentioned in a hilarious kind of way. It’s a lot of fun to see the captains interact with each other! I think I nearly died a few times while I was translating this…

--- Captains' Dinner Party ----

As a close associate of the Wizard King, Marx uses his memory and communication magic with absolute precision. He is a capable man. His incredible ability is made evident by the fact he alone is the Wizard King’s close associate, who has been entrusted to his duties. As we all know, the Wizard King is the one who stands at the top of the Magic Knights.

Of course, Marx does not take on half of the Wizard King’s duties by himself. There are several people who support him. However, right now, Marx is the only one who reports directly to the Wizard King. There are those who act as imperial guards or advisers in times of emergency, but Marx generally acts as the Wizard King’s sole support.  

In short, he is doing work that should be done by several people all on his own. Moreover, the current Wizard King, Julius Novachrono, disappears at every opportunity. It’s never related to his work, either. Rather, he’ll say “I’ve heard a rumor about some interesting magic in one of the neighboring towns”, and, like a mischievous boy, casually disappear for that reason. While protecting this (42-year-old) mischievous boy, Marx busily performs his daily duties. His position is one that a person without ability can never handle.

 But now……

“……Everyone, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to meet with me here today.”

Marx muttered through his teeth as a drop of cold sweat lined his noble face. His manner of behavior was clumsy, unbefitting of the capable man he is. He felt that he could throw up at any moment.

‘Why did things have to come to this…?’ he thought.

“…Hey, bowl-cut. Quit it with the formalities and get started already.”

The meeting place was the conference room of the Magic Knights’ main headquarters. Strewn across the table were many delicious-looking meat and vegetable dishes, as well as iced alcoholic beverages. There were also pots of food evenly spaced apart on the table, as well as…

“……Be quiet, Yami. A hideous man like you may not know this, but everything has a code of etiquette,” rebuked the Captain of the Blue Roses, Charlotte Roselei.

With her dispassionate reply, the others around the table began to speak up one-by-one.

“Huuuh? But, at this rate, the beer’s gonna get warm! Tepid beer offends my mana.”

“Kah kah. You two should stop getting to know each other so well! Marx can’t move on with you guys chatting so much!”

“Wh-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Who’s getting along with each other!? Jack, don’t say such nonsense!!”

“Huh? Charlotte-san, why do you look a little happy……Eeek!?”

“……Young deer. The next time you speak, don’t be surprised if you find my thorns shoved down your throat.”

With Fuegoleon and Poizot absent, only seven of the nine captains were present. They were summoned by the Wizard King. A stormy aura emanated from them as they sat surrounded by pots.

“W-well then, at the very least, let’s toast…..”

Faced with such an explosive atmosphere, Marx forced a smile on his face and stood up.

“E-everyone! Today, let’s celebrate and get this party in full-swing……Cheers!”

And so, the dinner party from Hell began.

 --- A few hours before the hellish party began ---

 “……A dinner party for the captains?”

“That’s right. I’m thinking we should make today’s Magic Knight Conference like that.”

Marx and Julius had such an exchange earlier that day in the underground storehouse at the Magic Knight’s headquarters. They had heard that two members of the Black Bulls, Luck and Magna, captured an extremely difficult dungeon and brought the relics stored there into the kingdom. Of course, the two did not carry all those relics by themselves. At their request, Magic Knights from headquarters came to help them, but the dungeon was so full of relics that it took half-a-day to carry it all back. The relics were sent to the Magic Appraisal Division for appraisal, and, knowing that all of them have high research value, the Wizard King came to watch.

“Ooooh! Hey, hey Marx-kun! Look! This is amazing! This black skull is falling apart, but if you inject it with magical power, it becomes as good as new!”

…...Well, the other reason Julius came was to satisfy his curiosity.

“I must say, Magna-kun and Luck-kun are impressive, triumphing over ten opponents like that~! I want to ask them about it, but I wonder if they returned to their hideout already?”

“No, I’ve heard that they said they have some errands to take care of in Seitan, a village in the Forsaken Realm, so they left right away…They might have already left Seitan, but would you like me to try contacting them?”

“Hmmm…… no. They must be tired after a mission like that. Let’s let them rest…… More importantly, look! They say this skeleton has a magic room inside its body! This right here is supposed to be the switch to activate it!”

“Oh? As one would expect, all the relics from this dungeon are highly advanced…… wait, hold on!”

He was almost caught up in Julius’s pace. If you respond to him thoughtlessly, this magic maniac will babble on and on endlessly about magic.

“About the dinner party… well, that is, why do you think we need to do such a thing?”

“Why, you ask? ……Because we’re all comrades in the very same Order of the Magic Knights.  I don’t think we need any other reason than that to eat and drink together.”

“That’s true, but……”

That’s not what Marx was trying to say.

“Certainly, they have known each other for a long time now, and they all have their own personal connections with each other, but… this is hard for me to say, but, from what I’ve seen, their relationship with each other is indisputably bad. With everyone being like that, I’m not sure if they’ll be able to enjoy it……”

To put it plainly, this dinner party is going to be an incredibly unpleasant experience for everyone involved… is what he tried to imply, but Julius responded with an affable tone as he fumbled around with the skull.

“Yeah, the dinner party is probably going to be so unpleasant that you’ll want to die. Ha ha, I’ll remember you fondly, Marx-kun.”

‘I should kick this old bastard’s skull in!’ Such dangerous thoughts, which would most certainly be considered national treason if he did it, sometimes crossed Marx’s mind.

“But, you know, that is precisely why I’m throwing this party.”

With those words, Julius looked away from the skull in his hands and toward Marx.

“We’ve received a declaration of war from the Eye of the Midnight Sun, and we’ve been betrayed by Gueldre. Moreover, the Diamond and Spade Kingdoms are becoming increasingly aggressive. Now that we have more perils and unease, the Magic Knights must become more monolithic…… We’ve talked about this several times now, haven’t we?”

“……Yes.”

After Marx meekly nodded his head in agreement, Julius took a breath and continued,

“And, you know that I’ve been working these past few weeks in order to give form to that idea, right?”

“……Yes. Revealing the traitor in the Magic Knights, encouraging joint missions like what happened in Kiten, as well as the trial introduction of the new system called Experience Enrollment*…… and more, right?”

“Yup, that’s about it as far as mission-related tasks go.”

Strictly speaking, that’s all he’s done so far as the Wizard King. However, the truth is, there is one more thing he did behind the scenes. It’s true that Magna and Luck have just traversed a dungeon that has never been explored before, and they brought back a number of treasures. However, it was Julius who induced them into doing so. Julius knew that the Black Bulls were looking for a way to fix Asta’s arms, so he chose an extremely difficult dungeon that most likely held rare treasures.  He then used his transformation magic to transform into an old woman, told Magna about the dungeon at the black market, and gave him some hints about how to capture it. Whether or not they could capture it successfully was a bit of a gamble, and they did not find any clues about how to cure Asta’s arms (Well, it turned out that Asta had already healed his arms at the Witches Forest, anyway). Nonetheless, as a result, they became much stronger and successfully brought back the dungeon’s treasures.

Because of this achievement, the number of stars the Black Bulls have acquired now stands at 101, making them second only to the Golden Dawn. What was once the worst Magic Knight squad has clawed its way to the top in a flash. This will agitate the other knights and spur them on to work even harder. In other words, they must learn to cooperate with each other now more than ever. Though indirect, their efforts will serve as a great steppingstone for the Magic Knights to come together.

Of course, not everything will go smoothly. Still, just a little movement behind the scenes produced such magnificent results. For him, these results are more than enough.

“……What is it, sir? You suddenly started smiling,” Marx asked quizzically.

This made Julius realize that what he was thinking was showing on his face.

“Huh? Ah, no, ha ha, nothing really! I haven’t been doing anything behind your back, I swear!”

“……I haven’t said anything, yet…”

“…………”

Marx stared at him for some time before sighing in defeat.

“Well, it’s fine……I can more or less imagine what you did,” Marx said as he surveyed the piles of treasure in the room. He is truly a capable man.

“……So, what you’re saying is… this ‘Captain's dinner party’ is also an essential part of your plan to unite the Magic Knights?”

“Y-yup. That’s right.”

Julius cleared his throat as if to recollect his thoughts.

“I, too, am aware of the current state of their relationship. Though they aren’t exactly on bad terms with each other, it’s certainly not a relationship where they can laugh and eat together…… However, don’t you think it’s a problem if the Captains, who are supposed to set a good example for their squads, stay like this forever?”

“I completely agree with you, but I don’t think their relationship is going to improve after one or two dinners……”

“And it’s almost time for the Star Festival, you know? And I think I’ll probably be asked again, probably by either the King himself or one of the Royals “Are the captains working together properly?” …or something like that.”

Julius intercepted Marx’s words with a bored look on his face. Marx knew that Julius always makes that face whenever he talks about political matters.

“Well, I can be evasive if I need to be… but don’t blame me if something happens. The mere act of having a dinner party should have a little bit of appeal, I would think, which should improve their relationship a bit.”

It was only a few weeks ago since the attack on the royal capital, when royalty tried to place the blame on the Magic Knights. At the time, they were able to gain the people’s support, but that may not be the case next time. If such a thing were to happen again and the blame were put on discord amongst the captains, he wouldn’t know how to respond. Of course, Julius genuinely wants them to deepen their friendships with each other, and he also finds political diplomacy to be genuinely boring. However, one must pay attention to those trying to drag you down and prepare countermeasures accordingly.

“Sir……”

While Julius was thinking, for some reason, Marx had a look of admiration on his face as he said,

“You’ve been thinking about such delicate topics this much……!?”

“Sometimes I think about these things, just like how you sometimes don’t think of me as the Wizard King, right?”

‘Sometimes, you think of me as just a mischievous old man, right?’ he thought to himself.

“I was joking earlier…… However, I understand. If you’ve thought it through to this degree, then I will do all I can to help you,” Marx said with his hand in a three-leaf salute, his face finally breaking into a smile.

“Thank you.”

Julius expressed his gratitude with a small smile.

“……Well, I also have some personal reasons for doing this,” he said to himself quietly.

“Huh? I’m sorry, did you say something?” Marx asked Julius, but, by then, Julius’s usual smile had already returned to his face.

“No, it’s nothing. Well then, I hate to ask this of you, but can I leave preparations for the party to you?”

“……I understand. Are there any dishes in particular you think we should serve?”

He was a little worried, but he focused on asking pragmatic questions. The dinner was going to be in a few hours, so if he did not start preparing right away, he would never finish in time.

“Anything’s fine, but…… how about hot pot dishes? I heard from Yami that the people from his homeland all gather around a pot, strengthening their bonds with each other.”

“Understood. I’ll arrange for that, then.”

Hot pot dishes… it’s not a dish typically seen at parties in the Clover Kingdom. It’s a tall order, but that won’t stop him from preparing it.

“You have my thanks. Well then, I’m going to investigate these magic tools a little more.”

“That’s fine, but……”

Marx looked around the width of the room again with a bitter smile.

“Don’t get so engrossed in them that you arrive late to the party. I won’t be able to handle their questions by myself.”

“Ha ha! Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” he said with a grin as he returned his attention to the skull. Marx made one more bitter smile from behind Julius before leaving the room.

“A hot pot party for the captains…… the atmosphere is probably going to be strained, but there’s going to be alcohol, and, above all, Julius is going to be there. Certainly, everyone will behave themselves to some extent if they are before the Wizard King.”

“Right, as long as the Wizard King is there.”  

 With that, we return to the present, while the starting toast is occurring…

 ‘……. That old bastard isn’t here!!!!!!!’

Marx screamed internally as the amount of sweat drops on his face increased twenty-fold. To make matters worse, not a single one of the captains raised their glasses for the toast. He went to retrieve Julius ten minutes before the party was to begin, and yet, for whatever reason, he wasn’t there. Instead, there was a note which read “I’m testing the skeleton’s functionality in a separate room. Please start the party without me.”

After being hit with that bombshell, Marx frantically began to search for him, but he wasn’t in any of the adjacent rooms, and he couldn’t even feel his mana. His communication was also cut off, as usual. As he hustled and bustled about, the time came for the party, so he reported Julius missing and started the party. However……. just as he expected, the atmosphere was terrible.

“Please calm down, Charlotte-san! Why are you so mad!?”

The party has barely even started and yet Charlotte, whose face was red for some reason, was shooting her thorns at the Captain of the Aqua Deer, Rill Boismortier.

“……S-shut your mouth, Rill. I’m merely teaching you how you should speak to your seniors!”  

“Uh, no! I mean! It really feels like you’re trying to kill me…… ow, ouch! One of your thorns cut me!”

Sitting beside them were the Captains of the Green Mantis and the Black Bulls, Jack the Ripper and Yami Sukehiro. A turbulent aura surrounded them as they began to quarrel.  

“Hey, Rose lady. Stop scarin’ the deer kid. Look, he’s shiverin’ like a newborn baby.”

“Kah kah! Yami, you’re the one who started this mess!”

“No way, isn’t this happenin’ because a certain skin-and-bone-head decided to say somethin’ that would push her buttons? I bet your brain is as emaciated as your face. You poor thing.”

“HUUH!?”

Sitting across from them was the Captain of the Golden Dawn, William Vangeance. Rather than do anything to stop the quarrel, he simply sat there and smiled as he usually does.

“Fu fu. Everyone is getting along as well as ever, I see…… Even so, the Wizard King certainly is late.”

Sitting beside him was the Captain of the Silver Eagles, Nozel Silva. He hasn’t uttered a single word since the beginning of the party. A sullen aura of displeasure radiated out from him.  

“………zzz”

And finally, beside Nozel sat the Captain of the Coral Peacocks, Dorothy Unsworth.

“……zzz……zzz……..zzz……..nom, chew chew……zzz”

Whenever she is asleep, there is often a snot bubble coming from her nose. This must mean she’s asleep right now, yet somehow, she’s eating. There are many things about her that are simply incomprehensible. In any case, aside from Marx, there was not a single other person interested in calming the place down. There was no sign that Julius was ever going to come, either. He has been trying to use his communication magic, but he still hasn’t been able to connect with Julius.

‘……As I expected, I’ll have to try to do something by myself.’

“W-wow! I prepared all this food myself, but I must say, this is a delicious-looking assortment of ingredients!!”

In an attempt to change the atmosphere of the party, Marx began throwing ingredients into the pot. While he was doing that, he turned toward Yami, who was still arguing with Jack.

“I heard this hot pot cooking is a dish from Yami’s homeland. But what’s the most delicious way to eat it? Ha ha, please teach me, Captain Yami!”

“Dunno!”

“…………”

With that single word, Yami went straight back to arguing with Jack. His eyes had met Marx’s for a single instant, revealing a killer’s glare.

“……. Ah, I see. Ha ha, that’s right! What’s most delicious is going to be different depending on the person, right? I’m sorry.”

Marx felt as if his heart was about to break. He needed to find someone to talk to so that he could recover. Just now, his conversation partner and his timing were both terrible. This time, he’ll find someone who looks more open to conversation……

“Ah, C-captain Nozel! Do you like poultry!?”

At that moment, Nozel, who was reaching for some roast duck, shifted his gaze toward Marx. He may be hard to talk to, but if it’s a conversation about his favorite foods, he’ll open up a little. At least, that’s what he thought……

“Kah kah, come to think of it, I’ve never seen ya eat or drink before, Nozel!”

“Oh, he’s eating! Somehow, I feel kinda moved by seeing this. It’s like watchin’ a feral cat who doesn’t let you pet it finally eat the food you put out for it for the first time… I feel like I’m gonna tear up.”

……This is the worst. Jack and Yami paused their fight to poke fun at Nozel. They both must have decided that teasing him is more interesting than fighting with each other. However, their target ignored them and continued to eat his meal with refinement. Marx isn’t sure whether he should be surprised by this development of if he should have expected it. After all, Nozel knows very well how those two are. However, even though he looked calm…

“Kah kah, a cat!? But, now that ya mention it, he’s totally like a cat! A very prideful cat!”

“Yeah. When you think of him like that, he starts lookin’ kinda cute.”

This made Nozel’s forehead muscles twitch, but then the two pushed even further.

“Cute? With that sour look on his face? Kah kah! What the hell are you lookin’ at?”

“Nah, he’s cute. It’s the braid, y’know? He does that every mornin’ cuz’ he wants to look cute.”

“……Hey, that’s enough you two!”  

Rill exploded. He puffed out his cheeks and pointed at Nozel’s braid.

“Nozel-san thinks his braid is cool! Seeing him get made fun of for that is just too pitiful…… Eeek!”

In the blink of an eye, Nozel thrust a spear of mercury into Rill’s throat.

“Huh, wait, what!? Why!? I was just trying to back you up! Besides, didn’t Yami-san and Jack-san say way worse things about you!?”

“……Silence. You’re hopeless.”

“Why are you being so unreasonable? ……Hey, o-ouch! Wait, the cut I got from those thorns earlier is even larger now!?”

Marx quietly looked away from the chaos that was ensuing between them. Nozel is certainly being unreasonable, but, no matter how you look at it, Rill is suffering the consequences for what he said. Let them handle their own problems, he thought.

“……H-hey, Yami”

After Marx made his cruel decision, Charlotte, who was sitting beside him, quietly divided the contents of the pot into small plates as a faint blush colored her cheeks.

“……Since I was already taking my portion, I decided I might as well make a plate for you, too…… I-it’s in the way, so hurry up and eat it,” she said as she placed a small plate in front of Yami.

……Come to think of it, ever since he told her that today’s meeting will be a dinner party, she has been acting a little strange. It seemed like she had to muster up her courage when she sat next to Yami, and she looked rushed when she did it. Even after the party started, she has been acting as if she was trying to get the timing right on something.  

Could it be that she wants to look after Yami? He wasn’t sure what her intentions were, but if that was what she was trying to do, then he’s very grateful. If she can hold Yami in check, then Jack should calm down a little, too. That would rein in the two biggest troublemakers here.

Just as Marx was getting his hopes up, Yami and Jack turned toward each other,

“……Hey, Yami, because you started saying weird shit, now even Charlotte has started acting out of character…. What the hell!? What the hell is up with this enigmatic woman!? Talk about terrifying!”

“I don’t know! H-hey Charlotte……Wha-what is your aim here? I-is it my life you’re after?”

“Y-you cretins!! I was trying to do you a favor!!”

“Wooooooooooooow, what a delicious-looking dish!! Y-Yami, if you won’t eat it, then I wiiiiiiiiiiilllllll!!”

Just as Charlotte was about to summon her thorns again, Marx speedily forced his way into the conversation.

“……Y-yes! Please eat it, Marx! I want nothing to do with this foolishness anymore!”

For just a moment, Charlotte’s face was like a demon’s, but then she replied with a pout as she pushed the plate onto Marx.

‘……I don’t really get what just happened, but, for now, the danger has been averted,’ he thought.

“Ah, I-I know! Captain Yami! You had Yuno-kun in your squad a few days ago for the Experience Enrollment! How was that!?”

Though he just averted one crisis, it was only a matter of time before they would provoke each other again, so he decided to change the topic of conversation.

“Ah, that’s right! I just remembered! Hey Goldy, I wanted to talk to you about that!”

Marx wasn’t sure if he chose the perfect conversation topic or if it was just his timing that was good, but Yami stopped arguing with Jack and turned toward Vangeance.

“Hand Yuno over, ya hear? Not as a trade. Give him to me free of charge.”

‘……Well, I successfully managed to start a conversation, but it sounds an awful lot like blackmail,’ Marx thought.

“Ha ha…… I’ve heard a little bit about what happened while he was with you, but does Yuno interest you that much?”

Vangeance replied with a smile as he gently swirled the contents of his cup. As far as Marx was aware, Vangeance is the only one who can behave so elegantly while being pressured by Yami.

“Yeah, I could make real good use outta him. He’s great at cookin’ and cleanin’, and he could buy my alcohol and cigs for me.”

“I heard about that from Yuno himself. When Sandler heard, he became very angry and said, ‘You may be a mere peasant, but to think he’d make members of our squad do things like that……’. I had never seen him make a face like that before.”

“Well, of course, I also think that Yuno’s magic is really somethin’ else. It’s really crazy, that spirit magic he has. Yuno’s magic by itself is strong enough, but with that spirit supportin’ him, all his other spells have gotten multiple times stronger.”

It is said that a spirit dwells in each of the four major attributes: earth, fire, wind, and water. Extraordinarily powerful magic that can only be wielded by those who have received the spirit’s blessing, that is spirit magic. Yuno has been blessed by the wind spirit, Sylph. She has already made significant contributions in many of his missions.

“He’s really somethin’. He dried the laundry so damn fast!”

That ability is not for housework.

“You get what I’m sayin’, right? So, hand him over.”

And it’s not something one can get so easily.

“Ha ha. No. You’re not even offering me anyone in return, you know?”

“Huh? What, you mean you’ll think about it if I trade ya for him? There’s someone on my team you want?”

“……Hmm, let me see.”

From behind his mask, a mischievous glint shone in his eyes.

“How about…… Asta-kun?”

“…………”

Everyone at the table paused in shock. This has to be a joke, the kind you usually make at a drinking party, they thought. Surely, neither of them was being serious. Still, even if they were joking, he brought up Asta’s name in a conversation about trading the Golden Dawn’s ace ……he’s essentially saying that Asta’s value is equivalent to Yuno’s. That peasant who doesn’t even have any magic? Everyone knows that Asta has been an excellent Magic Knight. His name has shown up frequently in recent reports, and some of the captains here have even fought together with him. However, not having any magical power whatsoever is too dire a handicap to have in the Magic Knights. Thus, everyone was shocked to hear Vangeance bring up his name. Marx wondered if he could sense some kind of potential in Asta.

“Huh, you kidding? You’d be fine with him? You can have him. His arms were broken until just a while ago, but he seemed fine yesterday, so feel free to use him however you want.”

However, Yami didn’t seem fazed, continuing to speak in his usual way.

“……Well, but,”

In the next instant, his mouth upturned into a provocative smirk as he said,

“I don’t think you’d be able to handle him.”

“……I wonder about that.”

For a brief moment, the two stood still, studying each other without a word.  

The atmosphere around them wasn’t unpleasant, but it was a peculiar air, as if the two were trying to measure something specific in the other. Just as Marx was getting ready to chip into the conversation,

“Fu fu, let’s leave the joke at that…. I won’t hand Yuno over to you. Everyone is expecting great things from him this year.”

“Huh~ What the hell? You stingy golden weird mask guy.”

“Ah ha ha…… huh? Was that always meant to be an insult? Not my nickname?”

With that, they started drinking again, smiling as they continued to converse with each other. Unlike before, when they seemed to be throwing riddles at each other, there was no unpleasantness at all between them, just genuine enjoyment of the moment.

If this keeps up, the other captains will probably get involved, and then they’ll all enjoy being part of a normal conversation. Marx felt a wave of relief wash over him, but then…

“Tch. Fine, fine. My brat has more guts than Yuno, anyway~”

Oh no. With that single sentence Yami casually blurted out, Vangeance’s smile stiffened by just a little bit.

“……I guess. Well, I think that Yuno has a considerable amount of guts, too. I haven’t tried to compare them before, so I can’t say this with certainty, but I don’t think that Yuno necessarily loses to Asta in that regard.”

“…………”

With those words, this time, it was Yami whose expression tightened a bit.

“……Naah. I don’t know about that. That Asta hates losing so much that he’d rather die, so I bet he’d come out on top. I can’t say that with certainty, though.”

“……Yuno also hates to lose. He told me himself that, during the raid on the Capital, the reason he was able to capture a member of the Eye of the Midnight Sun is because of how strongly he felt those very emotions.”

“Nah nah, if you’re gonna bring that up, Asta killed a ton of zombies during that very same attack.”

“He did, but Yuno defeated a member of their upper echelons. Because of him, we were able to obtain vital intel on the Eye of the Midnight Sun, wouldn’t you agree?”

“The only reason we were able to get that intel is because Asta used his sword to break the protection spell on them!”

“Huh, wait, what? Ha ha… what’s wrong, you two?”

Marx attempted to stop them, but his voice didn’t reach them, and the two continued their dispute. It’s probable that neither of them intended for this to happen. However, no matter what they might say, it’s clear that they both dote on their squad members. The two got more fired up with each exchange until their souls were practically screaming “My child is better than yours!”. Neither of them has had much alcohol yet, but perhaps the power of alcohol had at least something to do with it.  

……And then, finally,

“……Then, we’ll just have to do it.”

Yami spoke with a sharp gaze and a voice so low it could kill.

“You mean, we should summon them right here, right now, and have them fight until one of them collapses… right?”

“Hmmm…… I guess that will be fine.”

“THAT’S NOT FINE AT AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!”

Marx finally decided it was time to intervene, but he was no longer in their field of vision. He was used to Yami being like this, but it was rare to see Vangeance’s eyes like that. It might even be the first time he has ever seen Vangeance like this.

‘So, this is how strongly he feels about his squad members……,’ Marx thought.

“P-please wait! Having them fight now is…… it’s definitely too sudden, don’t you think!? Plus, the two of them hail from the same village, right!? Suddenly making them fight each other would be too cruel!!”

“Actually, I’ve been told that fighting each other is how they’ve honed their practical combat skills since they were kids. We just want them to do that one more time, so I don’t think they would find our request particularly unreasonable.”

Vangeance was surprisingly calm as he said this, which suggests that he was never carried away by his emotions to begin with. He’s just that wicked. People who are calm and logical when they’re angry are the most frightening of them all.

“Well, that may be so, but…… they don’t need to fight right now, do they!? What about the dinner party!?”

“Would ya shut up already!? We can eat and drink while the two fight it out!”

“What!? That sounds just like what rich people with bad taste do for fun! You’ll traumatize them!”

To watch two people who grew up together like siblings fight to the death against their will! Only a demon would do such a thing and smile about it!  No, this man is called the God of Destruction for a reason. Come to think of it, if these two are saying things like this, then, most likely……

“Kah kah! Hey, Yami! Are you two planning to enjoy such an interesting spectacle without me?”

Just as Marx predicted, Jack joined the conversation.

“Let me in on this, too. And then I’ll cut up whoever wins.”

“Eeeh!? Jack-san is going to fight, too!?

It was as if a chain-reaction had begun. This time, it was Rill who responded, making sideways glances at Charlotte and Nozel as he spoke.

“A fu fu……Then, maybe I’ll go, too. I-it’s not like I feel really uncomfortable around certain people and am trying to get myself as far away from them as possible or anything!”

“……I don’t know what you are so fearful of, nor do I care, but I plan on coming as well.”

“Huuuuuuh!?”

Charlotte quietly declared her intent to participate, unconcerned with Rill, who’s eyes were wide with shock. Marx’s expression mirrored Rill’s as he sputtered,

“B-but…… Why you, too, Captain Charlotte!?”

“……Usually, I care not for whatever these men might do. However, the Star Festival will soon be upon us, an event of great importance. These foolish men need someone to keep an eye on them so that they don’t do anything stupid.”

For some reason, she kept stealing glances at Yami’s face as she spoke.

“……It’s dangerous to leave him unsupervised.”

For the second time that night, Yami and Jack exchanged looks after watching her behavior.

“……Hey, Jack. What’s up with her today? Dangerous to leave me unsupervised, she says……? Is she planning to follow me and… attack me from behind with her thorns!?”

“C-calm down, Yami! Try to remember! You probably did something to make her mad! You know, like… you defiled her honor or something!”

“…...I-I’m going to kill you!!”

“Please don’t!”

“C-captain Dorothy, Captain Nozel! You think it’s messed up to make Asta and Yuno fight, too, right!?”

Marx desperately called out as he shielded Yami with his body, arms outstretched. He didn’t have any faith that either of those two would join forces with him, but they were the only two who hadn’t yet entered the conversation. They were the last two he could possibly depend on, so he had no choice but to stake the last of his fleeting hopes on them.

‘……But, when you think about it, neither of them has been enjoying the party at all, but they haven’t done anything to spoil the party, either. No matter what they might say, that in itself could be evidence that they feel quite at home at this party, which means they might be willing to help me dissuade the other captains.’

Holding such hopes in his heart, Marx waited for either of them to make a response. However…

“……………………..”

“zzz………zzz…….zz zz, zzz-zz-zz…….zzz……zzz”

It was no good. Nozel’s eyes conveyed the message, “I don’t care. Bother me and I’ll break your spine in half”. Dorothy’s only response was her snores.

‘……As I thought, I’ll have to do something about this myself,’ Marx thought.

“P-please calm down, everyone! For now, let’s all sit back down! This dinner party is a formal banquet organized by the Wizard King, you know!? To disregard that would be unforgivable!”

He didn’t want to do this, but he decided he needed to borrow some of the Wizard King’s authority, so he mentioned him by name. Even so, he wasn’t sure if that would be enough to settle everyone down……

“……Or, how should I put it? Regardless of the fact this party was organized by the Wizard King, please do not abandon this banquet.”

Maybe he’s spilling the beans too soon. Maybe this banquet is all just a political maneuver.

“……The Wizard King established this banquet to deepen your friendships with each other.”

At the very least, he wanted them to know that fact.

“It’s true that I think this is a clumsy way to do it. It’s true that I think it’s hopeless. In fact, I think that it’s really irresponsible of that magic maniac to organize a banquet and not even show up! I’ve been thinking that, just once, I want someone to give him a good thrashing!”

“H-huh? Marx-san, are you trying to back him up? Or, do you just want to insult him?”

Rill’s voice was full of worry, bringing Marx back to his senses. He nearly let the daily frustrations he has built up erupt out of him.  

“A-anyway, it’s an undeniable fact that this banquet was prepared in consideration of your relationship…… So, I don’t want you all to quarrel like this at the banquet he prepared for you.”

“………”

With Marx’s desperate appeal, the entire banquet fell silent.

…This banquet has strayed far from what the Wizard King intended. At this point, even if the Wizard King were here, it would be impossible to fix. However, this was the only way Marx could think of to keep the party from falling to pieces. Just as he feared, getting this group to get along with each other was impossible……

“……What nonsense.”

Nozel retorted as he slowly stood up from his chair. His retort felt like an attack on an already defeated enemy. With that, he made his way toward the exit.

“……Ah, wait! Captain Nozel! Where are you going!?”

Nozel stopped and turned his head over his shoulder, looking back at Marx with frightfully cold eyes.  

“I’m going home. His goal was to deepen our friendships with each other, correct? However, with this banquet now in shambles, that will not come to pass. Therefore, it is pointless to remain here.”

“………”

He was right.

“……Or rather, do you not agree that this was impossible from the beginning? Me? Getting along with a commoner, a foreigner, and a fallen noblewoman?”

His cold gaze moved from person to person before meeting Marx’s gaze once more.

“It’s true that cooperation among the various squads of the Magic Knights will be essential as the war continues to intensify.  However, cooperation and familiarity are not synonymous. Rather, such half-baked acquaintanceships give birth to carelessness, and carelessness disrupts cooperation. Instead of wasting time on such meaningless gatherings, it would be more worthwhile to conduct joint exercises.”

“M-meaningless, you say……!?”

But he couldn’t refute what Nozel said. Though Marx felt that Nozel took things too far, none of what he said was incorrect. Even so, the Wizard King is…..!

“……Isn’t discussin’ that kind of thing one of the reasons that guy set this party up?”

“………!”

The one who said the very remarks Marx wanted to make was Yami. His eyes and tone were as extraordinarily deadpan as usual as he continued,

“Also, you’re right when you say that a half-assed friendship would only lead to careless mistakes, but if we don’t start by half-assing it, then it’ll never develop into real trust. That’s what strengthens collaboration…… not that I don’t understand where you’re comin’ from. I don’t wanna do it, either.”

“……Shut your mouth, foreigner. It was because of your ridiculous proposition that the order of this event was disturbed in the first place.”

“Ah, that whole thing about how we were gonna make Yuno and Asta fight? Yeah, I thought it would liven this place up a bit, but I guess we really shouldn’t. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Yami glanced at Vangeance, who apologized with a wry smile,

“Yeah. Ha ha, I guess that wouldn’t exactly bring us closer together, would it? Just as you said, I thought it would be nice to have them fight it out a little and then treat them to the food here, but…… certainly, it was an impudent proposal. We got carried away, and I apologize for that.”

“……huh?”

Marx’s eyes widened in shock.

‘Did those two come up with that idea in order to revitalize the banquet? By making all those objections and trying to keep everyone here against their will, did I end up ruining their idea and making the situation awkward for everyone……?’  

“Anyway, sit back down, Mr. ball-o’-pride. I’m not sayin’ you need to get along with all of us, but can’t you at least wait for the Wizard King to arrive? You can just tell him what you told us earlier and then leave, so you won’t have to stay much longer, y’know?”

“…….”

Just when Nozel opened his mouth to respond to Yami’s words, they heard the sound of something distorting.

“Oh… I finally got through to you.”

When he looked toward the direction of the sound, Marx saw the Wizard King’s face projected through his communication magic.

--- To be continued in Part 2---

I’ll post the next half of this chapter next week if all goes as planned. 

A note of explanation: “Experience Enrollment” is referenced in previous chapters of this novel. Though I haven’t translated those yet, it appears to be the name of the program for Magic Knights to spend a day working in a different squad. An example of this is when Asta works for the Golden Dawn in chapter 2 of this novel.

[chyouxart]

Tagged by @northelypark (thanks hun~) I don’t know who to tag so any followers are welcome to do this if you want~

How many works do you have on AO3?

One? I think? I honestly haven’t been on Ao3 for a while so I can’t quite remember how it works but if we’re counting chapters then I have 8. All of those are part of my one series: P3301. They’re all really old chapters and gross so please don’t look them up LOL I’m currently revamping the story, which is why I haven’t been on Ao3 for a while or uploaded anything else. I intend to write short stories branching off from P3301 once I finish the main series, but it’s going to be a while. Maybe I’ll upload some of my old Clive short stories for the hell of it in the meantime.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

98,021

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3 I’ve only written for Professor Layton, but back in the day (wAY back in the day) I made Sonic OCs and wrote an entire trilogy for that (kind of) as well as a MapleStory fanfic that was also pretty ambitions, about 300 pages? And then I planned a sequel that never happened due to uni and life getting in the way.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

P3301 Prologue (17)

Chapter 1 (7)

Chapter 4, 6 and 7 tied (5)

Chapter 2, 3, 5 and 8 tied (4)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I did when I was more active on there and I will again when I finally start uploading my chapters again (shouldn’t be too long now, I’m working out the events of Part 3 out of the 6 parts. So, prooogreeess??)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhh... I guess all of them are kind of angsty since it’s a murder-mystery and the murders are ongoing, but maybe the most emotional for Clive, my main protag, is Justine fainting in chapter 7 (I think it was chapter 7?? Things have been moved around and changed so I don’t really remember haha)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, but you can send me some if you really want haha

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yup ;3 Again, haven’t really uploaded anything on Ao3 but maybe in time. Currently writing a little something something in my spare time and when I feel like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Better not happen either cuz I worked my ass off on P3301 omg

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I’m learning Japanese so it would be cool to translate my own fic sometime (in like a million years)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, probably won’t either. I really enjoy fleshing out my own ideas and it would be pretty hard to work with someone else, especially if it doesn’t turn out exactly how I want (which is why just writing P3301 on my own is hard enough. I can’t even agree with myself on some things LOL)

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Welp, @northelypark got me into Clive/Amelia and I kinda just fell into it especially since it really helped us figure out our own relationship haha. Wasn’t originally going to have it, but I’ve now added a few chapters with her and Clive (won’t spoil what those are about yet). Before that I had just kind of imagined him being a single dad forever, and I’m really not a fan of romance usually, but, like I said, Clive/Amelia is pretty special to me so it’s easier to write about now.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A long time ago there was a writing prompt I’d randomly found asking to write something with ‘dust and faded roses’ and I’d started a really angsty short story going through Clive’s life and ending each segment on the phrase of the prompt. I’ll probably never finish it, but I think it was still pretty interesting.

What are your writing strengths?

I myself think and have heard from others in the past that I’m pretty good with emotional writing. It helps when I’m really connected with a character, like Clive, but this, unfortunately for him, means he gets tortured a lot LOL

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Maybe someday in Japanese. Justine herself is Japanese and I hc that she wasn’t able to learn much of the language due to losing her parents so soon so I may have a few chapters where it’s sprinkled in here and there where she’s learning it, most likely through an app or something so she’s got her nose even more in her phone to annoy Clive even more haha

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Sonic LOL

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Definitely P3301. It’s been really challanging with everything else going on in my life (and just in reality with the pandemic and the whole world falling apart rn...) but it’s really pushed me to be the most creative in a story I’ve ever been and also helped me tackle heavy topics, which is fun for me for some reason lolol

[kinogane]

Essence of Combat, Part 2: Heat Action

(incidental Yakuza spoilers below)

(previously)

The second aspect of Yakuza action combat that stands out are Heat Actions. You build Heat, press the Heavy Attack button when you see the prompt, and

definitely commit not murder.

Yup.

They’ll be fine, folks.

Heat Actions are consistently the visual highlight of Yakuza action combat, with the cinematography and choreography focused in for a few seconds on your protagonist inflicting some unspeakable pain on some daft sap who thought that picking a fight was a good idea. The cartoonish hyperviolence of some Heat Actions are consistently cathartic, and watching an enormous chunk of enemy health vanish doesn’t hurt, either. And the series knows they’re highlights, as well. Not only do some games make performing Heat Actions a completion metric, there’s an entire Revelation mechanic in 3, 4, and 5 devoted to seeing wild situations and adapting them into new, creative Heat Actions you can use to definitely not permanently debilitate your foes.

In short, Heat Actions are a big deal. A big enough deal that it wouldn’t quite be a Yakuza game without them, and indeed, the first thing I was curious about when I learned that Like a Dragon would switch to turn-based combat was “How are they gonna do Heat Actions?”

The answer is Like a Dragon’s very own version of Heat Actions, Kiwami Actions.

And they're quite the successor.

A few hours into the game, Ichiban comes across a baseball bat stuck in the concrete, and upon pulling it out like a sword of legend, his overactive imagination takes center stage and starts coloring just about every conflict from that point on. Enemies transform into fanciful archetypes and caricatures, and the Kiwami Actions you start gradually getting access to are...

Well, just look at some of them.

Certainly, you can’t fault RGG Studio for seeing an opportunity to go unabashedly over the top and taking it. Like a Dragon is, after all, the game that took the aforementioned Yakuza eccentricities and pushed them to their furthest yet.

So really, this isn’t much more than the natural continuation of the trademark Yakuza bombast, applied toward Heat Actions with Ichiban’s particularly grandiose imagination. There really isn’t anything like them in Yakuza games past.

So why am I ultimately rather ambivalent toward Kiwami Actions?

Mechanically, Kiwami Actions take on a very different role in combat flow than Heat Actions, as a logical consequence of the combat system switch. For starters, Heat Actions tend to be spontaneous in nature. After building up Heat, you have a brief window to identify that a certain Heat Action is possible and then execute. Depending on the Heat Action, these windows can be quite short, so they can create on-the-fly decision making. I just knocked a whole group of idiots down with a throw and they’re going to get back up soon. Do I go for a Heat Action? Does their remaining health justify using that Heat? Or should I instead simply stomp for some quick damage and look for a weapon nearby?

Once you perform a Heat Action, your Heat will probably drain to the point where you can’t perform another one. Additionally, many Yakuza games offer benefits to retaining Heat while in combat and/or provide other ways to expend Heat for benefits like healing or better quickstepping, which means that there are situations where saving your Heat is a better call.

Another important wrinkle is that most games punish performing the same Heat Action by lowering the damage of subsequent repeats, which means that in longer fights against bosses, you have a strong incentive to look for and set up situations that let you hit a wide array of Heat Moves to drain the boss’s health quicker. So at the highest level, the core of Yakuza action combat is about alternating building and spending Heat in ways that will benefit you in a fight the most.

Kiwami Actions, meanwhile, are 1. uniformly almost always accessible when it’s your turn, 2. simply gated behind higher-than-average MP costs, and 3. do not have deteriorating repeated damage. Once you reach lategame, it does become feasible (and outright optimal) to spam Kiwami Actions (or one Kiwami Action) over and over again to deal as much damage per turn against enemies of higher caliber.

These are all trappings of turn-based combat and JRPGs especially, so they’re very much expected, but as replacements to Heat Actions, it’s a bit of a letdown? It’s just not possible in Like a Dragon to replicate the scramble of figuring out how to hit as many different Heat Actions as possible while trying to avoid getting hit. Instead, you just... pick it in a skill menu and it happens. Again, I recognize that’s just how it is with this kind of combat. I don’t think they should try to replicate that scramble, especially given how I feel about some of the positional battle mechanics in Like a Dragon, and I fully accept that I’m just not going to get that in future turn-based Yakuza games. But it’s an omission I felt during the entirety of my time with Like a Dragon.

Furthermore, on a more aesthetic level, Kiwami Actions weirdly lack the oomph of Heat Actions. Sure, they’re more bombastic and showy, but I find that the flair is often more detrimental than not.

For starters, every single Kiwami Action transports the attacker and the target to an alternate dimension where the attack plays out, then switches back onto the active battlefield. This is a practical necessity of not being able to guarantee that all battles take place in arenas where all Kiwami Actions can be depicted. In fact, if you pay close attention to Heat Actions in previous Yakuza games, they do the exact same thing, only instead of an entirely alternate dimension, the environment and actors are rearranged a bit as needed.

This pragmatic reality, alongside the simple fact that the increased flair and grandiosity means that the average Kiwami Action is considerably longer than the average Heat Action, means that Kiwami Actions are bigger interruptions of flow than Heat Actions. It’s a bit difficult for Kiwami Actions to have comparable impact when they’re very clearly situated away from battle and must have a longer build-up, climax, and follow-through, as opposed to Heat Actions which more easily appear to happen in the moment and are relatively quick peaks of action.

Also, if you look at the Kiwami Actions as a whole, they’re also sort of... all over the place and inconsistent in terms of showiness?

Like, take a look at Adachi’s moveset. The Kiwami Action he learns for reaching Detective Rank 28, Essence of Body Stacking, involves Adachi hitting two enemies on top of each other, then hitting them both down at once. It’s downright mundane. It could pass for a weapon Heat Action.

Meanwhile, the Kiwami Action he learns at Level 45, Essence of Hell’s Wheel, involves, uh,

You should really see it for yourself, if you haven’t.

If this was just one instance, it’d be a weird curiosity. Hell, you could even write this off as a higher level means a more outlandish Kiwami Action. That would be fine, but that’s just... not true? Contrast the above two with Han, whose Hitman Rank 28 Kiwami Action, Essence of Trick Shots, involves some Gun Kata-ass choreography,

while his Level 50 Kiwami Action, Essence of Assassin Dive, is...

a bunch of kicks.

What’s more, just about every Tag Team Kiwami Action is very low-key. In fact, besides Nanba’s and Zhao’s Tag Team Kiwami Actions, all of them could pass for Tag Team Heat Actions, which is completely fine and not a problem, were it not for these category of Kiwami Actions being a weird blind spot of mundanity in comparison to colossal pigeon swarms and spontaneous concerts. (They involve two people! Two people, both potentially able to do some wild shit! Am I to believe that Ichiban is just unable to come up with something suitably imaginitive?)

This isn’t to suggest that Heat Actions don’t have this spread, either. For every Heat Action where Kiryu or Saejima pick a dude up, jump five feet in the air, and drive the schmuck’s poor head straight into the concrete, there’s another where they just... kick a dude really hard. But I don’t have this problem with Heat Actions, so why the double standard?

Certainly, the mundane Heat Actions usually being faster helps a lot. It also helps when after you simply punch a dude on the ground he looks like, well,

yikes.

But two reasons in particularly really stand out to me. The first is that the gap between the most fantastic and most mundane Heat Actions isn’t all that large. Again, grabbing someone, leaping into the air, planting the top of their cranium right into the ground, and not killing them is very fantastical, but it’s just cartoonish and superhuman enough to be within the bounds of what you would expect of a Yakuza protagonist, so it’s not all that weird to see them do something as simple as slam someone against a wall headfirst. With Kiwami Actions, meanwhile, the gap between using your bat like nunchaku and spinning like an hypercharged Beyblade is considerably larger. The disparity becomes a lot stranger to think about.

The second is that even the more mundane Heat Actions can invoke a visceral reaction that the more mundane Kiwami Actions aren’t capable of. I’ve seen multiple people react to the Essence of Pliers Heat Actions, and the sheer discomfort they feel, every time, is extremely funny to me, every time.

Besides maybe Han’s Tag Team: Terrorizing Trample, none of the more simplistic Kiwami Actions come even remotely close to anything like Essence of Pliers.

And at the end of the day... I don’t think they even try to, or maybe even should.

I recognize that I’ve just spent a ludicrous number of words explaining in excruciating detail why I prefer Heat Actions over Kiwami Actions. And yes, absolutely, it’s ridiculous to compare seven games worth of Heat Actions to one game’s worth of Kiwami Actions. And yes, the tl;dr is that I prefer the moment-to-moment of the action combat over the moment-to-moment of the turn-based combat. It’s really that simple. Therefore, I prefer Heat Actions because they complement the action combat very well, more than I think the Kiwami Actions complement the turn-based combat. They’re just fundamentally different, and that’s... the point. It’s totally fine.

Believe it or not, I honestly didn’t spend almost any time wishing that Like a Dragon had action combat. Having achieved 100% completion for Like a Dragon, I’ve seen just about everything its turn-based combat has to offer, and I like it quite a bit. The stats are fun to raise, the weapons are fun to upgrade, and the skills are fun to use. Having to Perfect Guard attacks I’ve seen thrown my way for the whole game to have a chance at surviving in the True Final Millennium Tower is a satisfying postgame test of mastery. And for as much as I might seem down on them, yeah, the Kiwami Actions are fun to watch. You can pull out a human-sized grater and just go to town shredding some putz’s face, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that isn’t good stuff.

So why did I bother writing all of this, besides out of sheer boredom?

Well, I did say I didn’t spend almost any time wishing for action combat.

(continued)

[fifteenleads]

Scientific Method: a process that uses evidence and testing to investigate the unknown, usually following a set of steps in order to arrive at a conclusion.

(Way too tedious. And boring. And so unlike Dazai.)

— An SKK Gakuen AU.

Step One: Make observations.

Most treat it like a "Step Zero", though, to their teacher's dismay. An era of results and instant gratification guarantees zero patience for things that take time.

Chuuya's guilty as charged, of course.

In any case, Dazai is being annoying, as usual.

"Stop blowing raspberries into my ear," he hisses, ducking under his textbook. "It's disgusting as hell."

"Did not," Dazai singsongs in English to the tune of his annoying ringtone. How he manages to even carry a tune despite the bubblegum idol pop blasting from his huge headphones is a mystery, indeed.

Chuuya rolls his eyes at that. "Did, too." He lightly kicks Dazai's leg to get his attention. "Seriously, listen to me. This is important."

Dazai seems to have read his lips, pausing his iPod and taking his headphones off with an annoyed sigh. "What, chibi?"

Ugh, that's definitely intentional.

Chuuya lets that insult slide for now. "I need the budget for the props ASAP," he huffs, arms crossed. "The school festival is already next week, you know."

Five days, to be precise, but Dazai still acts like they still have five weeks. "Ask Higuchi to do it," he drawls, lazily waving Chuuya away. "We still have 120 hours, don't we?"

Dazai turns to him, raising an eye expectantly. Damn him and his lack of sense of urgency sometimes.

That said, though, he always manages to get shit done in time. Every single time, without fail. And Chuuya, in turn, is always baffled at how he does it, every single time.

Today he finds himself asking the same thing all over again. Ugh.

Dazai's still waiting for an answer.

Chuuya's way too tired for this. "120 and counting down," he answers in kind to prove his point. "I need to submit it by today, in case you forgot."

"Higuchi will do it," Dazai simply repeats, wearing his headphones again. "Come back here when you're done. I'll wait for you."

Chuuya opens his mouth, then closes it again. Inhale, exhale. Better.

"Fine," he relents for now, arranging his things. "You'd better still be awake, or I'll dropkick your bony ass to tomorrow. Got it?"

He only gets the same lazy wave in response as he leaves.

When Chuuya comes back to the classroom an hour later, Dazai is fast asleep at his desk, headphones awkwardly displaced around his face.

To be fair, Dazai never said yes at all.

Chuuya could only scratch his head at that. This is one mystery he doesn't feel like solving at all.

.

Step Two: Ask a question.

Easier said than done, really.

They've been seatmates for more than a year and co-class reps for half that time, but that's about it.

Chuuya had cursed his luck to high heaven and back, and Dazai knew it. Reveled in it, even.

Then he got used to it.

He prides himself in being a good team player for the most part, if nothing else. That said, though, this is the first major event they are handling together, and the weight of the responsibility isn't lost on him.

"—Oiiii. Earth to Chuuya?"

Dazai is staring holes into him, pointed nose a mere fingerbreadth from his. He quickly backs away in surprise, sending the stack of paperwork flying to the ground.

Dazai seemed to have expected this somehow, and he sinks back into his seat while breaking into an amused chuckle.

Chuuya slowly puts up a hand to his face, surely an embarrassing flush of red by now. This is what he gets for getting caught off-guard.

The meeting continues where it left off, with Dazai rattling off a string of numbers while Higuchi notes down everything. Luckily, no one else said anything anymore.

Chuuya's still in his own headspace as he walks home alone, having managed to successfully ditch Dazai for once. He stops at a vending machine for a can of iced coffee, since he'll be pulling another all-nighter.

He gets the hazelnut-flavored one by mistake. A reflex, really.

Downing it in one go, Chuuya grimaces at the nutty aftertaste at the back of his throat. He still doesn't see what Dazai likes about it.

That being said.

Since when has he been this preoccupied with thoughts of Dazai?

"Ever since," a voice from the back of his head whispers.

Chuuya feels his face heat up again at the thought. Traitor.

Maybe he's still only flustered about earlier. He also hasn't slept enough the past days. Also stress from festival prep.

Or, he's only confused. Yup, that's definitely it.

That instantly makes him feel better.

.

Step Three: Formulate a hypothesis.

1. Dazai's annoying.    2. Dazai's very annoying.    3. Dazai's very, very annoying.

This one goes into the wastebasket, of course— as if he didn't already know that.

Chuuya's eyes trail to Dazai as he reads aloud a paragraph from the textbook.

It gets increasingly difficult to follow along with the lesson at hand when he's absolutely distracted by that rich, warm voice, carefully enunciating each word in the passage.

"Thank you, Dazai-kun," the teacher nods in satisfaction. "You may sit down."

As Dazai takes his seat, he turns his gaze ever so slightly in Chuuya's direction and their eyes briefly meet.

No sparks fly in all directions, but Chuuya feels a faint jolt of electricity run from his chest outward to every inch of his body.

Then Dazai smirks— the bastard.

1. He's definitely riling me up.

Dazai's smug face lasts only for a fraction of a second before it reverts back to one of disinterest.

Chuuya definitely knows better, though: from the dip of his eyebrows to the twitching of the corner of his lip.

2. He can be serious as hell.

Chuuya ends up mulling over his list through last period. He doesn't notice that class is over until Dazai sneaks up on him and quickly blows into his ear.

"Argh— goddamnit Dazai, every single time!"

Dazai sticks out his tongue in response. "That's for ditching me yesterday."

Chuuya groans in disbelief. Petty much?

He will never understand what he even sees in Dazai at all, at this rate.

Surprisingly, the very thought does the trick for him, and he takes note of it in his notebook at once.

"What's that?" Dazai attempts to peek over his shoulder, but Chuuya manages to evade him, snapping the notebook shut and glaring at him. "None of your business."

It only makes Dazai laugh. "Fine, then. I'll find out by next week."

"Is Nakahara here?" Kunikida from the next class calls from outside. Oh yeah, meeting.

"Gotta go," he excuses himself, half-relieved.

And that was that— for now.

Chuuya doesn't look at the third item on his new list until he's home. It's... strange and vague and unlikely as hell, but there it is anyway, in bold, red ink:

3. This might be a crush (???)

.

Step Three-point-five: Refine the hypothesis.

This is absurd, Chuuya thinks.

He's taken to scribbling his thoughts on a dog-eared spare notebook, since Googling "Do I have a crush on my classmate" was evidently useless.

The result ended up looking like a conspiracy map. Ugh.

Chuuya considers his three-and-a-half pages of chicken scratch before tearing them off.

It feels like he's dug himself into a hole at this point. Not that he minds staying in it, if it means he doesn't have to see Dazai tomorrow.

School festival's tomorrow, though.

Double ugh.

Chuuya honestly thought he was already too old for this shit. No, really.

Now his 15-year-old palpitating... red organ thing is laughing at him for it.

(He still chugs the rest of his coffee anyway. Mmm.)

Running won't solve anything, Nakahara.

Inhale, exhale.

Back to work:

H0 (null): He doesn't have a crush on Dazai. H1 (alternative): He has a crush on Dazai.

There, much more... straightforward.

Dazai would probably laugh at him for misusing a stat concept like this, but it serves his purpose just fine. It's not like he'll find out anyway.

It's one or the other.

(He'd have to decide sooner or later, anyway. Best to strike while the iron is hot.)

.

Step Four: Gather data.

(Because there's no time to experiment.)

It's only Day One, but micromanaging proves to be more challenging than expected. It comes with being second-in-command though, so Chuuya takes it all in stride.

Dazai, on the other hand, is on his phone, mindlessly scrolling and tapping and humming to himself between listening to the team's reports and ordering everyone else around.

Magnificent bastard's a born leader.

Chuuya peeks at his own phone; stopwatch app's still running

Dazai's been on his mind for... 6 hours now.

(No, really. Despite all the chaos. Yes, he's been keeping track.)

Others:

1. They've been using the same shampoo. The smell of activated charcoal has never been this alluring.    2. They think in the same way, apparently. Higuchi of all people had noticed. "You realized just now?"

And... And!...

3. They've been sharing breakfast for a year now. Bites out of the same bread, gulps from the same bottle of water, the works.

It makes Chuuya run for the nearest faucet to scrub off the blush on his face.

He's only left with cat-scratch nail marks and a soaking wet shirt for it, so clearly he shouldn't have bothered.

Welcome to adolescence.

Dazai is mildly amused when Chuuya returns to the classroom. "Had fun, chibi?"

No thanks to you, stupid beanpole.

Day Two isn't any different, but they're more used to the work by then, so they manage to close up much earlier.

Chuuya and Dazai are the last to leave the classroom, having finished the stocks inventory for Day 3 while everyone else went to enjoy the festival.

It's five PM.

"Ah, freedom!" Dazai yawns loudly as he says this, stretching his arms upward before swinging them around.

Chuuya ducks to the side to avoid getting hit. "Ugh, watch it!"

To his credit, Dazai drops his arms back at once. "Oh. Sorry."

He adds a smile to that. It's beautiful.

How hadn't he noticed that before?

The early sunset bathes the corridor in pale red-orange, as well as their white polo shirts. Dazai's messy hair seems to shine, too, if anything.

Chuuya's reaching up to touch it before he realizes. Greasy but soft.

Also: "You have freckles."

Dazai's confused at the sudden contact. He doesn't withdraw, though. "You, too." A smile. "Faint ones, as small as you are, across your nose."

Then he leans in and traces the cat-scratch marks on Chuuya's cheeks. "You've been distracted since last week. What happened?"

.

Step Five: Analyze the data.

Step Six: Draw a conclusion.

Step Seven: Share your findings.

...

Wait, wait, wait.

The moment feels like a jolt of electricity and the numbness after, and then some. Those who said people short-circuit were onto something, after all.

Chuuya doesn't register anything for the entire minute Dazai shakes him back to reality.

Then something wet goes into his ear.

He lets out an unholy screech right there and then, instinctively covering his ear in disgust. Dazai, too, has a finger in both of his, face contorted into something between a wince and a grin.

A beat.

Two more.

And Chuuya laughs his head off. He doesn't know anymore.

Dazai does, too, and they devolve into a pair of crazy hyenas— not that anyone would notice.

It's only a good five minutes later that they catch their breath, slumped on the wall, leaning into each other for support.

"You okay now?" Dazai asks him, still trying not to laugh.

Chuuya only huffs loudly in reply. Dazai takes it as a yes.

"Now that that's out of our system,"— and he goes back to business mode— "will you tell me what's going on?"

Hypothesis 2: Dazai can be serious at times.

(He has always been, though.

Chuuya only refused to see it.)

The next thing he knows, their faces are too close for comfort.

Chuuya takes a nervous gulp. It felt more like gasping for air, the way Dazai frowns at him for it.

Hypothesis 1: Dazai likes to rile him up.

(Maybe? Why, though?

Now he's not so sure anymore.)

Maybe it would be wiser to just forget it. This only happened because he overthought many things.

There's still time to back out.

Dazai won't let him, though, if the intense glare he has on now is any indication.

Inhale, exhale.

Moment of truth:

"Here's the deal" Chuuya starts, momentarily avoiding Dazai's gaze as he finds the right words to say. "We've worked together for so long now. And yes, I still think you're annoying as hell."

Dazai merely hums at that, as if he were expecting it. He doesn't say anything, though.

"A lot of times, though, you pull through. Get things done— magnificently at that. I really don't know how you do it, sometimes.

"The past week made me think about these things. Maybe even earlier than that. Who knows? Does it even matter?

"In any case, I realized something."

By now, the sunset is as deep red as his cheeks, and he feels himself burning up inside.

(Running now won't solve anything.

One or the other.)

Chuuya meets Dazai's eyes.

It's now or never.

"I like you," he says with finality. "And that's all you're getting out of me for now."

Chuuya lets out another huff to prove his point, and holds his breath. And waits.

A beat.

Two more.

It's Dazai who sighs in relief.

And what a sight to behold: his lithe form slumping forward against Chuuya's, the tension in his muscles dissipating with the remnants of the afternoon heat.

"Whew," Dazai finally manages after a while, "you finally said it."

"... Huh?"

"I told you, right? I'll find out soon."

"You didn't read my notes."

"Of course not," Dazai laughs. "You /were/ mumbling a little too loud to yourself these days, though. It was easy to piece things together."

Ugh.

Chuuya rubs at his temples. If only he has something to chuck into Dazai's face right now.

It doesn't explain Dazai's exaggerated reaction just now, though...which he isn't at all trying to cover up, unlike all the times he played pranks before. Unless..

...Oh.

It takes Chuuya only a moment: "You—"

"Yeah," Dazai breathes out. "And that's all you're getting from me, too."

No problems there. Chuuya likes straightforward people.

He still headbutts Dazai for it, though. "Payback," he says simply before he hears complaints.

"Fair enough," Dazai mutters under his breath. "We even now?"

"Yeah."

A bit anticlimactic, all things considered, but Chuuya finds he likes it, too.

Now that that's out of his system, though... "Now what?"

It's a pretty loaded question, and they both know it. No one just suddenly admits and enters into... whatever this is, without a plan.

Dazai stares back, just as cluelessly— but not for long: "I think I know what."

Chuuya decides he still doesn't like that grin at all.

"Remember the lab primer in science? There's a certain procedure we follow to investigate what we don't know."

This time, it's Chuuya who slumps. Good lord.

.

Step Eight: Start over.

.

.

.

For Kiro.

[junosteellovebot]

(Sooooo you know that thing I said I was going to write? Well. I wrote it. Enjoy.)

Juno didn’t know what to think. He knew what he was supposed to be feeling, but the problem was he didn’t feel...anything. Just numbness. Maybe it would sink in eventually, but right now the mantra in his head saying Nureyev is gone Nureyev is gone just made him think that he should have expected it. He should have seen it coming. Hell, he probably even deserved it.

***

He was back in his mom’s apartment, except it wasn’t. It was kind of a mix of all the different places he had lived, with the living room couch from his Hyperion place and the kitchen from the Carte Blanche and a layout that definitely did not match its real life counterpart. Everything was a bit fuzzy. The scenery changed around him periodically. Standard dream activity.

Sarah was there, yelling at him, saying all the things he had replayed in his mind over and over again. He knew this conversation by heart, because it was probably the worst one he’d ever had. He wished he could forget it.

Juno felt the dread rising in him, the familiar sense of wrongness, the sick feeling that rapidly turned into panic as his mind pieced together what she was saying. He was at the door, knocking at first, then pounding, then banging on it with both fists. “Ben! Benten, open this door!” He wasn’t really controlling what he was doing. It was all reflex, instinct; he had relived this so many times. It just felt like he was a marionette, his limbs being pulled by the strings. 

Sarah tossed him the keys, smiled an awful smile, then she disappeared as if she had never been there at all. Juno shoved the key into the lock, wrenched open the door, and scrambled into the bedroom. 

It never felt real, not even the first time. Benzaiten couldn’t be dead because he was all Juno had. Benzaiten couldn’t be dead because he was Juno’s twin brother and they were two halves of the same soul and had always been. Benzaiten couldn’t be dead because if he was, Juno would have felt it. Benzaiten couldn’t be dead because if he was, Juno should have been dead with him. He should have been there, he should have saved him-

There were a million reasons Benten couldn’t be dead, but none of them mattered because he was. He was laying there, eyes closed, limbs sprawled out across the floor. Maybe Juno could convince himself that he was only sleeping, except for all the blood. It was everywhere, there was so much of it. He couldn’t even tell where the wound was.

Juno was certain that his heart completely stopped in that moment. Everything seemed to stop, even time itself. Juno’s thoughts screamed in his head, but everything else was completely silent.

He was pretty sure he whispered “No,” but it was probably something more along the lines of “No no nonononono it’s not it can’t be oh shit oh shit no no no no-” and then time started again and Juno was running toward his brother and checking his pulse and putting his arms around him and shaking him but he wouldn’t wake up and the realization crashed down on his head like a bucket of ice water and it all came out in one agonized scream of “BEN-”

But he wasn’t there anymore. Everything was dark, then he was tingly all over, then he was lurched awake in his bed. Juno was breathing hard, his heart beating furiously in his chest. He was drenched in sweat, but he was shivering- no, not shivering, just shaking. He gripped the blanket in one hand and buried his face in the other, taking a few shaky breaths. His cheeks were wet with tears he didn’t remember crying. He could still hear his scream reverberating through the walls.

Shit.

“Come on, Steel,” he whispered to himself, but his choked-up voice wasn’t very reassuring. “Come on. This is, like, the five-hundredth time this has happened.” It wasn’t especially comforting. He had nightmares about that day a lot, and they got even worse when he was feeling bad. It was safe to say it had not been the best week for him.

Juno laid back down and stared at the ceiling. He took deep breaths and kept as still as he could for a few moments. Eventually his heart rate slowed, his breathing evened, and he managed to calm himself down. He was pretty practiced at that.

He was almost ready to go back to sleep when there was a knock at his door. He sighed and cursed under his breath. Apparently everyone had heard him scream bloody murder in the dead of night. This was going to be a really fun conversation.

The knock came again. “Juno, darling, is everything all right?” It was Buddy, of course, her voice muffled from the other side of the door. 

Crossing his fingers this would be the easy way out, he replied, “Uh, yup. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” 

Buddy sighed audibly. “Seeing as how your voice was about two octaves too high, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that was a lie the size of Jupiter.”

Juno rubbed his forehead, still not moving. “Really, Buddy, it’s fine. I’m going back to sleep.”

“Unless you want me to get Jet to force this door open-”

“Okay, okay. Fine.” With a groan, he kicked off the covers and headed towards the door to let her in. It slid open, revealing Buddy Aurinko with silk pajamas on, her red hair in front of her face as always, and her ‘concerned’ expression that was evolving into solely a ‘concerned about Juno’ expression. It was one she made often. He bit his lip, looking away from her. “Come in, I guess.” He was distinctly aware that 1) it was obvious he had been crying, and 2) he just looked like shit in general. Juno was still getting used to the whole vulnerability thing. It felt a bit uncomfortable.

She accepted his invitation and stepped inside. The door slid shut behind her. Juno climbed back onto his bed and sat cross-legged, looking down at his lap, waiting for the inevitable lecture. Buddy sat on the edge of the bed and just looked at him for a minute or two. Her eyes were soft, filled with something that wasn’t quite pity. Was it sympathy? Understanding? Maybe it was just sorrow. 

Juno waited and waited, squirming a little bit. After what seemed like forever, she said simply, “Well?”

Hyper-aware that his chin was still quivering slightly, he summoned all the attitude he could and replied, “Well what?”

Buddy gave him a look. “Juno.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know! What do you want me to say!?” It sounded defensive even to him, and a tad bit petulant.

She sighed again and leaned back on her elbows. “Just...talk it out with me, darling. Heaven knows I’ve had my share of nightmares as well.”

Juno stared at his knee, picking at a phantom scab. He never talked about his dreams with people, not even Rita. Mostly because he didn’t want to think about them. There was something about Buddy, though, that made you feel like you could tell her anything and not get judged for it. And this wouldn’t be the first time he’d shared something personal with her. If nothing else, it would make her go away faster and then he could go back to sleep and wake up the next day and forget anything had happened.

He swallowed, not looking up. “I dunno. It was just...a dream. I’ve had it loads of times before.” Juno drummed his fingers on the back of his neck, trying to figure out what to say next. He could feel Buddy’s eyes on him, but she waited patiently for him to continue. He cleared his throat in an effort to maintain some semblance of dignity. “It was...uh. Something that happened to me a while ago. A pretty bad experience.” He winced. “The worst, actually.”

Juno glanced up at Buddy, who gave him a sad, knowing smile. He wasn’t exactly sure how much she knew about his past. She’d had Jet stalk him for months, and had almost definitely done extensive research on him before letting him onto the crew, so it was entirely possible she knew precisely what he was talking about. Then again, Rita had known more about Nureyev than Buddy had. Either was possible.

Ben would have liked Nureyev, Juno thought, for probably the five-hundredth time. He’d told Nureyev that, too. The past few times he’d had this particular nightmare, it was Peter who had woken him up and held him and calmed him down. It was Peter who had listened to him ramble about his brother in a teary, sleep-deprived haze. About Ben’s smile and mischievous eyes and the way he danced like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the planet’s surface. Juno never talked about Ben like that, with anyone. But somehow in the middle of the night, clinging to Nureyev, with all the love and pain stored up inside of him for so long, the tears spilled down his face and the words spilled out of his mouth.

For one reason or another, everything Juno had been feeling chose that minute to overflow, and he burst into tears.

He scrunched his eyes shut and covered his face with his hands, and didn’t flinch away when Buddy put an arm around his shaking shoulders. “Shhh, darling,” she said, leaning her forehead against the top of his head. “I know, I know.”

She rocked him back and forth a little, humming softly. Juno leaned into her and just let himself cry.

“I keep-” he let out a sob, shaking his head back and forth. “I keep...losing people.” He sniffed, looking up at her with watery eyes. “I don’t know how to stop losing people. I don’t know how to stop...missing people who are already gone.”

Juno looked at her expectantly, desperate for some kind of answer. Buddy rubbed his back, staring at the wall for a second before turning back to him. 

“Well, I can tell you that you don’t really ever stop missing them. You carry them with you, thinking about them without dwelling on it.” She paused for a moment, and looked at him seriously. “There are some things that we don’t get over, Juno. There are some things we can’t move past. Instead of trying to forget, we learn how to live with them.” There was a faraway look in Buddy’s eyes, something almost wistful. Juno had a feeling Buddy’s life before being a professional criminal had some melancholy bits to it. Maybe he would ask her about it, one day.

He let out something that was equally a chuckle and a sob. “You’d think...I would’ve gotten the hang of it, after fifteen years.”

Buddy smiled at him. “We never stop growing, Juno. I should know. I am a great deal older than you.”

“I might just take your advice, o wise and ancient soul.” This time it was more of a laugh.

“Oh, you’d better. I’ll have you know that my advice is absolutely superior to anyone else’s in the galaxy.” 

“Hey, no arguments from me.” Juno smiled at her, and Buddy smiled back, and she gave his shoulder a squeeze before sliding off the bed.

“Goodnight, Juno,” she said.

“Yeah, ‘night.” he reached over to turn out his lamp, and paused. “And Buddy?”

“Hmm?” She turned back.

“Thanks.”

***

It was now five days and sixteen hours since Nureyev had left. It took everything Juno had not to count it down to the minutes. He wanted to hate Nureyev for it and he wanted to beat himself up for not seeing it coming but he couldn’t do either. The worst thing about it was that he didn’t know why. One minute they were asleep next to each other, then there was only Juno, alone. They should have known better than to land for a full night to refuel. They should have known better than to give Nureyev the code to the vault where their stolen items were. They should have known better they should have known better-

(Everything came down to I should have known better than to trust Nureyev. But it had been nice, for a while, to think that he could.)

***

Juno had several bouts of fitful sleep for the rest of the night. He didn’t plunge back into the nightmare, which was a relief. At somewhere around five o’clock in the morning, he thought to hell with it and rolled out of bed. It was time to stop kidding himself; sleep wasn’t coming for him again.

After getting dressed and such, he wandered around the ‘Blanche’s halls. Following Nureyev’s disappearance, the crew had been at a bit of a loss for how to proceed. Rita thought they should explore other ways of obtaining the Curemother, Vespa campaigned for catching up to ‘that sorry bastard’ and ‘lighting his lungs on fire’, however that worked. Jet was unsurprisingly impartial. Buddy had decided that they were going to lay low for a little bit while she came up with a new plan for what their next move should be. Everyone was understandably in low spirits.

Juno shivered, running a finger along the wall beside him. It was chilly, he probably should have brought a coat. He passed through the kitchen and the rec area and was surprised to see light flooding in from the garage. He stepped inside to find Jet hunched over the hood of the Ruby 7, fiddling with pieces of machinery Juno couldn’t have named with a gun to his head. At least Nureyev had the decency to leave Ruby, he thought glumly.

“Hey, Big Guy,” he said, leaning back against the side of the car. “What are you doing in here so early?”

“Hello Juno,” Jet replied pleasantly, not looking up. “I often have trouble sleeping. I have found that working on the Ruby 7 is an adequate alternative.” He wiped his hands on a towel and turned to Juno. “And you?”

He shrugged. “Same, I guess. Couldn’t sleep.” Juno cringed a little bit as he was reminded that Jet and the others had heard his scream as well. Maybe everyone would just pretend it had never happened. Oh, well. A little embarrassment never killed anyone. 

Still. He wasn’t really in the mood for a psychoanalysis, and Jet had a tendency to drop poignant wisdom no matter how early in the day it was. “I’m going to, ah, get something to eat. Catch ya later.” He was about to walk away, but Jet frowned at him.

“It is too cold to be without a jacket,” Jet said in his matter-of-fact tone. “The temperature system has been malfunctioning periodically ever since the crash landing.”

Juno looked down at his oversized tie-dyed t-shirt and was about to jokingly ask what was wrong with it when Jet draped his brown trench coat over Juno’s shoulders. It was, safe to say, ginormous, and absolutely swallowed him. Juno gave him a look. Jet just smiled at him and returned to his work.

Juno sighed, tugged the coat tighter around him, and exited the garage. The coat was heavy and nearly dragged on the floor, but it was the good kind of weight. Comforting instead of constraining. And he couldn’t help but feel a little ray of happiness light up inside him. Usually Rita was the only one who liked him enough to loan him clothes.

***

Everyone else on the crew had been so furious with Nuryev they could barely say his name. Part of this seemed to be an act of support on Juno’s behalf, but Juno wasn’t furious. The only thing he felt was a dull ache of sadness, and a defeated sense that it would have happened sooner or later. It was hard to convince himself the betrayal wasn’t a direct response to the abandoned hotel room in Hyperion City. The thing was, he didn’t even think of it as a ‘betrayal’. Nureyev was a thief. Changing his loyalties was an inherent part of who he was, wasn’t it? Juno was the one who had been kidding himself that they could have a real future.

***

Juno had been strolling leisurely, but upon hearing several crashing sounds and yelps coming from the kitchen, he sped up to a power-walk. He entered to find Rita perched on a chair surrounded by piles of upended pots and pans. He paused in the doorway, mid-flinch. “Do I even want to know?” he asked.

“Oh!” Rita turned to him, a guilty smile on her face. “Hi there, Mistah Steel. I woke up super early, and I heard you and Mistah Jet talking, and thought, I could surprise everyone by making breakfast for them! Well, not the Captain, I guess, but, ya know. It’s just...everyone’s been so down lately. I thought I could cheer us all up.” Juno deflated a little bit, and Rita noticed, quickly changing the subject. “Then I realized. I’ve never actually cooked anything on this ship before! And I couldn’t reach the cabinets. And...well...I wasn’t sure what to cook, either.” She donned a serious expression. “This is quite a conundrum I’m having, boss.” 

Juno chuckled, making his way to her. “I think the first step would be to get off of that chair.”

“Yes, sir!” Rita hopped to the floor with a salute. 

Juno shook his head with a smile. He stacked the pots and pans and shoved them back in their places, keeping out the ones they would need. He instructed Rita to fetch pancake batter ingredients from the fridge, and they got to work. 

Juno was quite a good cook. It was one of the many skills he had had to teach himself as a kid. Sarah had come home from work late most nights, and she never had much patience for housework. That had all been up to the twins.

Juno and Ben both liked to cook, though they had different means of approaching it. Juno always followed the recipe word-for-word, while Benten preferred freehanding it. There had been more than a few petty squabbles over that, most of which ended in both boys covered in flour and laughing so hard they cried. Cooking was one of the things they did together, no matter how their days had gone or how big of an argument they were in the middle of. It was a way of releasing the tension, of having an excuse to talk things out with each other. And if one of them wasn’t ready to talk yet, the conversation would be about how melted the butter should be or whether it would be better to use a whisk or a spoon. It was a safe place, for both of them.

Juno thought about that, as he helped Rita fix the pancakes and laughed when she accidentally flipped one to the other side of the kitchen. He thought about what Ben would say to all of this. He wasn’t sure if it helped or made it worse, but he did it all the same.

Rita wasn’t as subtle as Jet. She didn’t bring up his nightmare, but Juno caught her glancing at him with concern several times. She actually knew the full story, and had helped him through periods like this before. He just wished he could tell her he was okay without actually mentioning it.

When he was putting the last batch of pancakes on the griddle, Rita came up and hugged him from behind. He put his hands over hers and squeezed. “Rita?” he asked, after a minute.

“Sorry, boss,” she replied, releasing him. “Just…” she shrugged. “You know I’m here, right?”

“Yeah.” Juno took a deep breath. “Yeah, Rita, I do. Thanks.”

“Great!” She beamed at him. “Okay, Mistah Steel. I’ll go get the others. Let’s EAT!”

He grinned and followed her lead.

***

Juno missed Nureyev. He missed him a whole lot. Sometimes he wondered what his reason had been, or how long he had been planning his escape. Mostly he just missed him, though.

***

The rest of the day went on mostly normal. Juno didn’t see much of the crew; they gave him space, which he appreciated. They weren’t avoiding him, but they weren’t suffocating him, either. It was a pretty good balance. 

It was fairly uneventful. After the breakfast hijinks, they worked on the Blanche’s repairs (it had been operative yet prone to small malfunctions ever since they left the beach,) did menial tasks, and brainstormed their next move. Not much was accomplished. 

That night, Juno tossed and turned and stared at the ceiling for an indeterminable amount of time. Part of him wanted to go to sleep, because he was tired. The other part of him was a little bit terrified that he would have the nightmare again, or possibly a different nightmare even worse than that one. Ah, the duality.

At some point he knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep, at least not right then. He made the decision to put on a bathrobe and slippers and head to the kitchen for something to drink.

Juno expected the kitchen to be dark and empty, but as he approached it, he saw that the light was on. He walked in to find Vespa seated at the table with her legs pulled under her, glowering intently at what seemed to be an empty bowl. 

“Uh, Vespa?” he asked, walking over to the fridge. “Everything okay?”

Breaking out of her concentration, she jumped, startled, and turned her sour expression to him. “What are you doing here, Steel?”

“Just getting something to drink,” he said truthfully, digging through the fridge until he found a bottle of some kind of juice. Or maybe it was a dangerous chemical. He was too sleep deprived to tell the difference.

“Interrupting my only hour of peace is what you’re doing,” she huffed under her breath. Juno ignored it. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with Vespa right now. 

“Decided to go nocturnal?” he asked, reaching for a cup from a cabinet and pouring in his juice slash chemical slash gasoline.

“Just couldn’t sleep,” she replied defensively. “Besides, you never know what could happen. It’s good to have at least one person awake and alert.” She mumbled something about persuading Buddy to coordinate nightly watch routines, and Juno elected to ignore that as well.

“Couldn’t sleep either,” he said with a yawn, taking a sip of his drink and sitting down at the table. Phew. Just juice. He squinted at her bowl, which she was still regarding with suspicion. “Has that bowl done something to offend you?”

Vespa shot him a dubious glance and folded her arms together on the table, resting her chin on them. She still stared at the bowl out of the corner of her eye. After a moment’s hesitation and a fair bit of squirming, she explained, “It’s crawling with roaches. At least,” she rolled her eyes, “That’s what I see. I was almost positive that they weren’t real, but I wasn’t about to eat cereal with any possibility of there also being bugs in it.” 

“That’s...understandable.” Juno gulped down some more of the juice. He never knew quite what to say to Vespa in regards to her hallucinations. Especially since she tended to get angry no matter what he said or how carefully thought-through his words were. He didn’t know if she wanted sympathy or encouragement or for the subject to be ignored completely. 

There was something about her right then, though. Face half hidden in her elbow, guarded expression wary of everything around her, dark bags under her eyes. She seemed so...vulnerable. Like a caged animal. Juno felt a sudden urge to break the ice between them. He was tired of all the tension, tired of all the mistrust. Maybe it was a night for answers. 

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked slowly.

Vespa’s eyebrows drew together. “Sure. Whatever.”

Juno took a deep breath in, and said, “Why do you hate me so much?”

This was clearly not a question she had been expecting. She grunted, and leaned back in her chair. “Well. For one, you’re an insufferable smartass.”

Juno laughed. “You got me there.” He was about to venture into more lighthearted conversation, but stopped as he noticed how conflicted Vespa’s face was, like she was debating with herself whether or not to say something. He decided not to push her, but waited patiently and sipped his juice.

Vespa fidgeted with her sleeve, looking off to the side. “There’s also…” she hesitated, and cleared her throat. “There’s another reason.”

“Yeah?” Juno asked in what he hoped was an encouraging yet acceptably non-pushy tone.

She mumbled something to herself that sounded a lot like to hell with it and squeezed her eyes shut, balling her hands into fists. “I have...hallucinations. Of you. A lot.” Vespa spoke in a rush, like she was trying to get it over with. “You say a lot of not very pleasant things in them. Mostly about me. I’m no good at differentiating between the real you and the in-my-head you.” She shook her head, twice, then opened her eyes. “Roaches are gone,” she whispered. She wouldn’t look at Juno.

Juno’s knuckles were white from clutching his cup. He didn’t have a suitable response to that. “Oh,” he said, a bit lamely. He glanced down at his hands. “Vespa, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well.” She shrugged.

They sat there in silence for a minute or so. Neither of them quite knew what to say. Then, Vespa blurted out, “Am I crazy?”

“Of course not,” Juno said immediately, and it didn’t sound like he was trying to reassure her. It just sounded like the truth. 

She nodded thoughtfully, and Juno got the thought he had just passed some kind of test. They weren’t fixed; it would take more than exhaustion and a little bit of honesty to do that. But maybe they were a little less distant than they had been ten minutes ago. He gave her a small smile and said the only thing he could think of. “Want some cereal?”

Vespa chuckled, and Juno grinned. It was possible that was the first time he had made her laugh. “Sure, Steel.”

He retrieved the cereal box, milk, and a spoon, and set them next to her bowl. She shook in the cereal and poured in the milk and munched on it while Juno scavenged for a bagel, or anything bagel-like.

They ate together quietly, just two criminals in a spaceship kitchen at four in the morning. There was calm between them, for the first time. Maybe it made both of them a little braver than normal, because when Vespa was nearing the end of her bowl of cereal, she asked, “Who’s Ben?”

Juno looked up from his bagel, taken aback. “What did you say?”

“It was a simple question, Steel.” She set her spoon in the bowl and crossed her arms.

Juno was quiet for a minute. Vespa was the last person he had expected to go through this with. In fact, he had assumed she would aggressively ignore it. He had just been starting to take his mind off the nightmare, too. “Why do you care?”

“Don’t go all asshole on me. It’s your turn now.” 

Juno looked to the side, uncomfortable. He wasn’t getting out of this. “Someone I used to know,” he mumbled simply.

He glanced at her, and Vespa held his gaze. Her expression was unreadable. “You do know that I could skewer you right now, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do, actually. Got the nine-inch scar to prove it.” It was a low blow, and he knew it.

Vespa gave him a hard look. “Juno.”

Juno blinked. He was almost positive that Vespa had never called him by his first name before. 

Something Buddy had said the day before popped into his head. We never stop growing, Juno. Maybe she was right. Maybe he still had a lot of growing to do. 

Maybe he could do it without Nureyev. Maybe it was time to let go.

“He was my twin brother.” The words were tumbling out before Juno had a chance to think. “Benzaiten Steel- Ben.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Vespa replied.

Juno nodded. “Yeah. He’s been gone, for a while now.”

Vespa seemed to understand, but she pressed forward. “What happened to him?”

“He, uh.” Juno looked down. It was hard to say out loud. “He got shot. By our mom.”

Vespa raised her eyebrows. “Damn.” She took a breath. “That is fucked up, Steel.”

“Don’t I know it,” he agreed softly.

He thought she was done, but Vespa asked, “Did he look like you?”

Juno chuckled, surprising himself. “Yeah. You could tell us apart pretty easy; different hairstyles, very different fashion senses. But, yeah. We looked a lot alike.”

Vespa pushed away her cereal bowl and leaned her elbows on the table. “Tell me about him,” she said.

And he did. 

Juno didn’t know how long they sat there at the kitchen table, but it felt like a place removed from time. He talked, and talked, and Vespa listened. He told her about the big things and the little things, things he barely remembered and things he knew by heart. He told her about all the different parts to his brother, the important ones and the silly ones, though he reasoned that nothing about a person was silly if it made them who they were.

When he had finally run out of words, Vespa held out her hand over the kitchen table. “Truce?” she asked quietly.

Juno smiled at her, and shook her hand. “Truce.”

When he finally made it back to his quarters, it was five o’clock and had officially been twenty-four hours since he had last slept. He kicked off his slippers and hung up his bathrobe and frowned when he spotted a steaming mug of...something, sitting on his nightstand. It had definitely not been there when he had left.

It was partially obscuring a tiny note beneath it. Juno slid it out and saw that it was written in Jet’s handwriting.

I know you aren’t fond of tea, it read, but this helps. Trust me.

When had Jet had the time to slip a mug of tea into his room? How had Jet gotten into his room at all? 

It didn’t particularly matter to Juno right that second. “Thanks, Big Guy,” he whispered to himself.

That night, he went right to sleep and had no dreams at all.

[petri808]

Happy Halloween!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

*Bonus Halloween chapter* it’s longer than normal (2k)

The biggest party in Tokyo was for a western holiday called Halloween, and the streets surrounding the heart of Shibuya that Saturday were literally crawling with a million young adults in every kind of costume you could imagine! Most of the revelers had no idea as to the origins of this holiday. All they cared about was dressing up and having a good time, including Lucy and her friends who’d dressed up as their favorite manga characters from Eden’s Zero. The businesses lining the streets in the area were used to the onslaught and welcomed it because it meant a nice chunk of revenue, while authorities did their best to control the crowds.

The group started off with Lucy, Levy, Erza, Gajeel, and Gray, but over time as others showed up or they ran into more friends, the groups numbers ebbed and flowed. Gray was the first to take off to meet his girlfriend Juvia, and once Natsu was off of work and joined them, Lucy and he split off to cruise by themselves for a while.

“Wow it’s so eerie how much you guys look like Shiki and Rebecca!”

“Thanks Mira,” Lucy blushes.

“Tch, I may look like the guy, but I’m not as dopey as him,” Natsu retorts. “He’s taking too damn long to make it official with Rebecca.”

“Don’t mind him,” Lucy giggles, “Natsu ships Shicca hard. But it’s even funnier to watch him and Gray argue over Weiszmura.”

“That’s because Gray is a blind bat who won’t admit they match!”

“Okay,” Mira laughs, “put the canons away. Are you two gonna check out the BUMP party at Womb nightclub?”

“Maybe a little later.” Lucy answers for them. “I heard they had some decent bands this year, but I’d rather go somewhere a little smaller like Sonidos.”

“Oh, yeah? Lisanna’s boyfriend Bixlow is the DJ there tonight.”

Lucy looks to Natsu, “we definitely should stop by and say hi.”

“Agreed.”

“Well it was nice bumping into you. I need to meet up with Laxus so you two have fun! I’ll catch you later!” Mira waves as she rejoins the flood of passerby’s.

Natsu takes Lucy’s hand and the couple continued walking around with no real destination. They stop in open stores to browse or grab yummy-looking finger foods from street vendors along the way. Despite the chaos around them, this was turning into a nice reprieve from their daily lives. It was already 1 am, but from the amount of activity going on, it was easy to lose track of time.

“Look, look,” Lucy points while dragging Natsu with her. “Photo booth!”

“Aww, really?” He whines, though the smile never wavered on his face.

“Yup!” She pulls him in and fishes out a bill from her wallet for the machine.

“Chi-zu!”

The pair chuckle and pose for the five shutter clicks. Each pose varying until the last one ending with a kiss from Natsu and genuinely surprised expression on Lucy’s face. It wasn’t their first kiss, but this would be a memorable one. For a few seconds as the machine printed out the slip of photos, Natsu holds her gaze, sweeping his thumb gently along her flushed cheek. There was a sense of intimacy in these confined booths where many a couple had hidden away from the public for this very kind of very moment.

“Thank you,” he smiles, eyes soft and pure of appreciation.

“For what?” Genuinely unsure of the reason.

“Giving me a second chance. These past few months have been the happiest times of my life and it’s all thanks to meeting you on that train.”

“I’m really glad too,” Lucy smiles sweetly. “Really... really glad,” she breathes out as she moves in to kiss him again.

“Excuse me?” A loud knocking sound stops them. “There’s other people waiting to use the machine!”

“Whoops. To be continued,” she gives Natsu just a quick peck and the pair get out of the booth. They apologize to the next group in line and race off hand in hand, laughing. That had been exhilarating!

Lucy’s heart was still racing even though they were long gone from the photo booth. She and Natsu had been taking things extra slow because of her earlier concerns. Aside from dates and a few kisses here and there, they’d never gone much further and she wondered who was the one holding back. Was it really her or was it actually him because he was too nervous to lose her? Tonight... in that booth... if they weren’t in public... her body flushes wildly just from the thought of it. Okay, so maybe she’s been dying to take their relationship further. Maybe not sex— yet, soon, or maybe... ‘argh! Not now!’ Lucy scolds her libido. But a make out session was a very tempting idea!

They check out Lisanna and Bixlow for a short time at Sonidos, before briefly hooking back up with Levy and Gajeel for some crepes. That’s when Levy quietly informs Lucy that she’ll be crashing at her boyfriend’s house instead of going back to the dorm. “You know... for some privacy,” the girl winks at Lucy. ��Hint. Hint!”

“I-It’s too soon for that! W-with us,” her tips burn with lies through each syllable.

“Pfft, you can’t lie that you’ve never thought about it.”

“No... not all the way...”

“Uh-huh. Well, do whatever,” she winks a second time and stands up to leave. “See ya in tomorrow night.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

“Why are your ears all red?” Natsu asks Lucy.

Lucy stiffens up. “N-Nothing important.”

“Oh... okay,” he smiles. “So whatdya wanna do next?”

“Actually, I’m kinda getting tired already.” It was after 3 am and they’d been out and on their feet for over seven hours.

Natsu sighs relief. “Me too! I just didn’t wanna ruin your fun. Shall I take you home?” He squeezes her hand with a smile.

“Yes,” she returns the squeeze, “and if you’d like you can spend the night— I-I mean since you’re tired and all! I’d just feel better than making you back track.”

“I’ll behave, I promise.”

The couple ride the train the short distance between Shibuya and Shinjuku to where Lucy’s dorm is located, cautious of the other riders on the train. Even though alcohol is not allowed on the streets during Halloween, it didn’t stop people from getting drunk and few creepy peepers kept looking at Lucy. But luckily, the train wasn’t very packed despite the holiday because the Shibuya party wasn’t over till 4am and they beat the end rush. On the way, Natsu texts his roommate out of courtesy, only to find out that Gray and Juvia were already at the apartment. Figures. Well it was a good thing he wasn’t walking into that situation! Even if nothing happened, just watching Juvia fawning all over Gray wouldn’t have been appealing. Once they arrive at the dorms, they make sure no one had followed and proceed inside.

Lucy leaves Natsu in the small living room as she changes out of her costume and into something a lot more comfortable. He was lucky the men’s costume was still semi-normal and he only had to remove the jacket and goggles for comfort, but the black hair dye will wash out in a week. She then grabs them a couple bottles of melon milk tea before joining him on the couch. Thank goodness, they didn’t have school, or he didn’t work the next day.

“That was fun,” Lucy curls against his arm with a yawn. “So, tiring though.”

“I haven’t been to Shibuya’s party in a couple of years, but it sure hasn’t changed,” Natsu chuckles. He leans his head against hers while threading their fingers together. “Totally agree on being tired. It probably wouldn’t be as bad if I hadn’t worked too.”

A companionable silence falls over the couple for a few minutes and after some time Natsu assumed Lucy had fallen asleep resting on his shoulder. He would have stayed in that position till his ass was numb if it kept her relaxed. This beauty queen deserved it and more, and he meant every word he’d told her earlier. The second chance had become a cosmic wish come true and he’d be damned to let anything ruin this between them.

“Hey Natsu?”

“Yeah Luce?”

“Do you think we could pick up from where we left off... in that photo booth?”

He swallows hard. It was one thing in the heat of the moment, but quite another to put aside his nerves now that they were so relaxed. This was a different kind of intimacy and much more intimidating to say the least. A private apartment without anything or anyone to interrupt or stop two consenting adults from going too far... and the last thing he wanted to do was something wrong! A regretted decision would destroy everything built up until that moment. But he couldn’t tell her no either!

Sensing the turmoil, Lucy sits up and turns his face towards her. Her instincts were probably on point earlier about his anxiety. “We don’t have to, if you’re not ready, but I wouldn’t mind making out with you... just a little.” She adds in the goal as a way to allay his fears. And it works. Lucy immediately feels his shoulders relax again. She gently caresses his cheek, her eyes zeroing in on his lips. “I just… like kissing you Natsu.”

“I’ll let you direct then, a-and if I start going too far, just stop me. I won’t get mad, I just...”

“Shh, I know,” she smiles, “and that what I like about you.”

Lucy closes the gap and steals his lips, starting slow, then adding pressure behind it. Her hand slides behind his head, fingers weaving into his messy hair as she tilts her head to deepen the kiss. Their tongues tease and test, mouths molding together as teeth clack gently the further, they push each other’s oral boundaries. She could still taste some of the sweetness of the crapes lingering.

His own hands stay glued, one with fingers twined in her hair and the other to Lucy’s side, just below the rib cage. Natsu loses himself in her kisses, they were so soft and sweet, a little adventurous as she ran her tongue once over his canines and giggled. That brought a grin to his lips and a straight arrow through his heart. He wasn’t ready to say it out loud yet, but he loved Lucy. His heart knew it and that’s all that matters, so when the time is right, he’ll tell her, but not yet, he knew she wasn’t ready for that level.

Natsu’s so lost in the kisses he barely registers additional heat against his chest as Lucy’s hand has found its way under his shirt. It wasn’t doing more than simply resting against his pectorals, but it was much further than he’d expected her to venture tonight. Every few minutes her fingers would lightly curl against his skin or move slightly up or down, sending little shivers over his skin. As far as he was concerned, she could do anything she wanted to him as long as it was her choice.

It surprises him when Lucy starts to press forward. At first one of his hands moves to keep from falling back onto the couch, but her sudden whine triggers him to let it happen and the next thing he knows Lucy is using him as a bed. So, he wraps his left arm more firmly around her body to make sure she doesn’t fall off.

Lucy lifts her head to look Natsu in the eyes. “Is this okay?” She questions him. “Am I too heavy?”

“I don’t mind,” he smiles at her, “but are you comfortable? I could shift us over so we’re more on our sides.”

“That would be great. Just felt like snuggling more.”

He kisses her lips. “Works for me.” Natsu then adjusts their bodies carefully until Lucy’s back is resting against the couches backing with her head on his shoulder and chest. She wraps her arm around his torso and huddles close to his frame, while their legs are slightly tangled together. “Comfy?”

“Mmm hmm,” she nods her head against his chest and closes her eyes.

Natsu kisses the top of her head, bringing a smile to her face, then wraps his left arm over to rest his hand on her shoulder and cuddle her close. “Goodnight, Lucy.”

“Mmm. Goodnight, Natsu.”

Eight months ago, the only thing Natsu thought about was a career and now after that fateful train ride he knew his new goal in life had to include the blonde next to him. Lucy felt so perfect in his arms and oh, if only he could wake up like this every morning for the rest of his life, well than he’d be the luckiest man on the planet. With a smile of his own, he closes his eyes and lets the cadence of her heartbeat lull him to sleep. This was a very happy Halloween indeed!

Just to give an idea this is Shibuya on Halloween: I’m so sad I didn’t get to see it this year like I was supposed to ;-; but Natsu and Lucy got to have a little fun in my place lol.

Also a warning, the story gets much more angsty after this for several chapters 😅

[shadowfae]

For the ask game, 1 through 9, 11, 12?

1 and 5 already answered!

2. What kind of shifts do you normally get (phantom, mental, dream, sensory, etc.)? How long had you been getting shifts before taking up the otherkin label?

It’s hard to say how long, considering how repressed it all was while I tried to fit in, and I am profoundly dumb sometimes and really just never recognized that that’s what that was.

But once I started paying attention, they were pretty frequent. The most common shifts I have are a form of mental / phantom shift, there was a word for it recently where it’s not quite a phantom shift but rather an awareness of where body parts are, even if you can’t exactly feel them. You could ask me what form and where my tail(s) are at any time and even if I can’t feel them right now, I can answer that. Right now, its falling off my chair between the armrest and the back.

Phantom shifts are pretty common, I forget I don’t have a muzzle a lot, and someone’s (whose? No idea, they all have the same mapping) phantom teeth keep bleeding over into my muzzle.

3. How many kintypes do you have? Which one did you discover first? Are you questioning any?

Four, Absol, and Xweetok! :O

4. What types of kintypes do you have? Psychological, spiritual, archetypal? Do you have any clue why? (Ex: someone identifying psychologically as a dragon due to feels from their past lives as a bird and reptile ‘types blending together in the present.)

Spiritual, wondering how much of that was just past lives combined with psychological encouragement of those emotions until it was permanent. As to why I tapped into it or why me specifically, no idea, pretty sure it’ll come back to bite me.

6. For those who got frequent shifts before identifying as otherkin, what did you think caused them? Did you equate shifts of any kind with “nonhuman” feelings before discovering your kintypes?

Tbh I though I just sucked and was weird and different. Couldn’t identify it, didn’t actually try, focused more on “you suck and you’re bad” over “and what makes you so different and is that so bad?” so I really don’t have much of a ‘before I knew I was ‘kin here’s what things looked like’ story. Repression is a hell of a thing.

7. For fictionkin, how long did you know about your source before awakening? Are/were you engaged in the fandom?

Absol: Hard to say. I know I knew on some level that I was an Absol before I started repressing everything. But which one came first? Don’t know. Can’t remember back that far. As for the fandom, I’m a casual fan but not active there.

Pale: A few months. It was nagging at me and I knew something was there but I couldn’t figure out what. Then I unburied it all and got slammed for a few years. As for the fandom... [chuckles in ‘I’m blacklisted from the fandom forever, nobody wants me there, and I am never going back’]

Ranisson: A few years - Ranisson was a parallel life and Drakath was reaching out to those who were reaching toward him. He didn’t make any connection that wasn’t already waiting for him. I came back to AQW after a few years of not being interested, I reached out, he grabbed my magic and yanked me through. As for the fandom, not recently. I got bored of the game and had wandered off to Evillious, which I don’t recommend.

Luteia: Not long. I was with the AQW crew at the time, and Dell’s systemmate Vicers told me to try TGG. Vicers was not fronting often, but he also had a bad habit of never being wrong. Something about the music struck a chord, as I progressed through the game I was fully aware that I knew exactly where everything was and what was going to happen, I saw my own overworld sprite and went “ah yep that one’s me”, saw Reficul and knew her for a friend, recognized Ivlis immediately and wondered where his husband was, made it to the finale and saw Kcalb’s spell, and everything fell into place. As for the fandom, nooooooooooo thank you. Too many KFFs and antis, thanks!

8. What symbols, phrases, or concepts are important/resonant with you due to your kintypes? How long did you associate with these things before realizing the reason?

Elven star is pretty good! Compass rose is another, and nonsensical poetry and worlds. My hearttypes, obviously.

They were primarily how I knew something was there. A gut feeling and a resonance with part of the source material.

9. Do you, on average, get more shifts or memories?

Used to get far more memories. Now? More shifts, and I feel that’s going to continue.

11. For those with more animal-like kintypes (or just literal animals), what are the most significant quirks/behaviors/instincts that

That something, I’m sure. I vocalize like an Absol and also a Xweetok as of late and I sure do love having animalistic mannerisms when I’m allowed to. It’s still hard to say, but I’m working on better identifying shit.

12. For those with more humanoid (in mind or form) kintypes, is the overall species (and the quirks that come with it) just as important to you as the specific personality/memories?

Yup. They’re equally important.

[ask game here!]

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter 4

Ao3, chapters  1   2   3   5,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

The plot of this was lowkey destroyed because apparently Patton and Janus are already somft, but that’s fine. I will continue to call Janus ‘Deceit’ throughout this entire fic to maintain consistency, just so you know. Also, this one’s a long boy, so strap in.

Warnings: Descriptions of gore/body horror (Remus stuff, nothing super bad), swearing, all sympathetic sides, lack of sleep, light arguing, food mention.

Word Count: 2,536

“Did he come back this morning? What did he say?”

“He didn’t do anything bad. Well, nothing super bad. I’m kinda getting used to it.”

“That’s worse!” Virgil was perched on the arm of the couch, staring up at Patton with troubled eyes. Beside him Roman and Logan sat together, the latter looking much less invested in the argument (though he was letting Virgil fidget with his fingers so as to avoid picking apart the threads of his hoodie). 

“It’s not so bad. I think he’s just looking for someone to talk to!” Well, it was like that by now. Patton knew that that wasn’t how it started. It had been about two and a half weeks since Remus had first started popping up to meet Patton before breakfast, and he’d grown quite accustomed to it. Deceit often showed up at night, but his schedule was more sporadic. They did their best to upset him, but the emotional side refused to be mean, no matter what they did! 

But then he’d found that, as their interactions continued, they got much less distressing. They were something else entirely. Odd enough that Patton couldn’t keep himself from telling his family any longer.

“Just ignore him; he’ll get bored.” Roman said tiredly.

“True; if you want them to stop bothering you, it’s best to just not give the two any attention,” Logan added, prompting Roman to give a proud little smile and hum. 

Patton shifted, taking a moment to respond. He wasn’t sure he wanted them to stop bothering him.

Remus grinned at Morality for the second day in a row as he walked into the kitchen. Today, his hand was pressed firmly against the hot stove, skin bubbling in plain view. 

“Oh! You’re back!” Patton forced a smile as he watched Remus nod and remove his red, blistering hand from the burner and heal himself instantly. 

“Yup! Happy to see me?”

Patton  inhaled deeply, pressing his hands against his face. Though his eyes were covered, he could hear Remus giggling to himself.

“Can I- Can I help you with something?” 

The Dark Side seemed to mull the question over for a moment, and then placed his hand back down on the active burner and shrugged. After getting bored with the stove trick, he sat up and grabbed a knife from the block and stabbed it down between each of his fingers repetitively. Patton stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. In his own kitchen.

You know what? If Remus wanted to hang around while he made breakfast, then the more the merrier! Morality decided he could ignore the occasional tearing sound of a knife on flesh, putting on the coffee pot for when Logan and Virgil eventually woke up. 

He continued on for a while, making pancakes in relative silence. Until his company got bored. 

“Why do you do this every morning?”

“Make breakfast?” 

Remus nodded.

“I do it because it’s nice to do something nice for the other sides.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“They’re my family,” Patton answered with a smile. The Duke seemed to toss the answer around in his head for a minute.

“I mean, I can see how they’re each other’s family, cuz they’re fucking- what makes them your family, then?”

They’re sides like me, he could’ve said, but caught himself. We care about each other, was another answer that probably wouldn’t be great. So he didn’t say anything, faking distraction.

“If you were me,” Remus continued, voice dipping, “You’d know that family means a whole lot of nothing.”

The statement had that odd quality of recitation. He was quoting someone. The usual energy with which The Duke spoke was diminished, but before Patton could ask anything about it, footsteps rushed down the stairs and Remus was gone in a blink. 

Part of him was happy that they’d grown on him- because it proved that he wasn’t nasty or mean- but a much larger part was very, very guilty. He was so sure that they were that they were the mean ones, but now he couldn’t tell. He’d been wrong before.

Patton loved his ‘family’, he really did, but not the way they did each other. Truth be told, he’d also been looking for someone to talk to. 

“You’re back,” Patton acknowledged, his eyes barely open. Deceit didn’t look even a twinge sleepy, dressed as formally as he ever was and sitting with perfect posture. This was the fourth time.

“Don’t sound too excited, Morality,”

“Why are you here, again?” 

“Oh, I’m wounded. I can’t just stop by to see my favorite side?” 

Deceit had seemingly recovered from whatever had him acting less cruel in their previous interactions, but Patton couldn’t say that he was surprised. He wasn’t an idiot. If this was the game they were playing, then fine. Fine.

He paused the episode of Steven Universe he was rewatching and clicked back to The Good Place. It was the episode they’d left off on a few nights before. 

“What are you doing?” Deceit sounded surprised. Patton shot him a look.

“I’m putting on something we both like. It’s considerate. And don’t worry, I didn’t watch it without you.”

The reptilian beside him scoffed, but he didn’t say anything, so. Point for Patton.

They got through a full episode before Deceit spoke up again, pretending to inspect his nails through his gloves. 

“You’ve got quite the healthy sleep schedule.”

“You’re up too,” was the nicest way Morality could think to phrase, you’re one to talk, jerk.

“I have the self-respect to sleep in late. I absolutely abhor the nighttime, but I’m guessing you’ve got another reason being up so late. Isn’t that right?”

Patton paused the show. 

“You really wanna know?”

“Please, enlighten me.”

The goal here, it seemed, was to upset and confuse. And the best way to trip up deception was by being honest, truly and completely.

“I just need to not think. Just for a little while. It’s so hard not to think about all the not-great things I’ve done,” he’d never told anyone how bad it got at night. Maybe that’s what made it so easy to tell Deceit, to get some of the pressure off his shoulders with someone that wouldn’t look at him so pityingly. It was good to tell someone who wouldn’t care.

It was a while before Deceit replied.

“That was the first true thing you’ve said to me, I think. I suppose I should return the favor-” And Deceit looked at him, completely understanding, “Since you were so surprised to learn we found you unpleasant, Remus and I decided to show you why that was. In a way. But maybe that’s not what either of us need.”

Patton finally glanced up, eyes wide. The fact that it was some malicious plot was unsurprising. The second statement was both surprising and confusing. But Deceit wasn’t meeting his eyes, and it was far too late to try to pry anything more out of him. So they just watched TV. Together.

“Pat?”

Virgil’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Patton made sure that he was smiling before he looked up.

“Is there something you aren’t telling us? You’re kinda radiating anxiety right now, buddy,” Virgil’s face darkened, “Did they do something to you? So you won’t-”

“Or can’t,” Roman added.

“-Or can’t ask for help?” 

Patton appreciated the concern, but he couldn’t help it if the insinuation that they would control him made him wince a disgustedly. How could they really think that Deceit or Remus would do that? (he was pointedly ignoring the part of himself that thought they did things like that less than a month ago.)

That morning, when Remus swung down from the top of the fridge in his kraken-like form, Patton hardly blinked. He yawned, in fact, smiling sleepily. 

“G’morning.” 

Remus picked himself up off the floor and shapeshifted into his usual appearance, pouting. 

“Aww, you’re desensitized.”

To be fair, he’d done this every morning for the past two weeks. Patton was quite used to the company, but he still threw his hands up and gave a very fake scream for Remus’ sake. That turned Creativity’s expression right around to a grin and he bounced his shoulders in a laugh. It was oddly cute.

“Hey, I like this,” Remus announced, bending back the prongs of a fork. Morality smiled to cover up that he had no clue how to respond. He almost thought it was some kind of lure, and he wasn’t losing whatever this game was to them. But, Deceit had implied that whatever plan they had was disbanded. But Deceit was Deceit! But that moment had seemed so sincere, and honestly, he wanted to like this too-

“Your eggs are burning,” said Remus, right against his ear. Patton startled at the sudden proximity, and also at the fact that he was totally botching breakfast. Family breakfast.

“Shucks- Thanks-” he hastily took the pan off the heat, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, but you might not like the answer,” The Duke warned, likely having no idea what Patton was going to ask about but knowing it was applicable regardless.

“Why do you always leave when the others wake up?”

He scrunched up his face, pausing whatever it was he was doing with a spare handful of forks. Morality had noticed that his various disturbing activities had gradually gotten a lot less deliberately upsetting and a lot more like he was just trying to keep his hands busy while chatting. 

“‘Shucks’ is just a combination of shit and fuck,” he said instead of answering. 

“Language!” 

Patton let him change the subject; it wasn’t his business, anyway. Remus cackled- part relief but mostly genuine amusement- and carried on as though nothing had happened. Morality listened to him ramble, and looked over when Creativity wanted to show him some piece of art or his rapidly expanding silverware sculpture. Eventually, when footsteps filled the house and Remus was gone, Patton noticed an aching pain in his face. He quickly realized it hurt from how wide his smile had been.

Oh- maybe ‘desensitized’ wasn’t the right word for how he felt about the Dark Sides.

Morality was going to defend Remus and Deceit. Just like he’d defended Virgil to the others all those years ago, before everything (funny, that, and how the three of them ended up together. Maybe if traits listened to him more, they’d see he ended up right sometimes. And Patton hoped- believed- he was right about this).

“I don’t need help, and they didn’t hurt me! Honestly, they may be a little eccentric, but they aren’t… evil.” 

Three sides gazed incredulously at Patton. He couldn’t blame them, for as soon as he said it he could only hear it as something someone else would be telling him. He remained unwavering regardless.

“Well, of course they aren’t; they are sides of Thomas like the rest of us, and naturally they strive to do what they think is best for him. But, their methods and wants are unrealistic at best and extremist at worst, so it is fair that we’d be concerned.”  

Virgil grumbled low in his throat, looking slightly mollified. 

“I- well- yeah, I just don’t want Patton getting in over his head.”

“What now?”

It was the first night since their last weirdly emotional conversation, and though Remus showed up everyday, Morality had almost thought it was the last he’d seen of Deceit. He was relieved it wasn’t, and his question really wasn’t meant to come out that way.

“You totally don’t just have to ask me to leave. It’s not like I’m no longer here on false pretenses- wait, not no longer- I confused myself,” while he was trying to parse out his own words, Patton let out a slightly surprised laugh. 

“No, it’s alright, I- um, I’m used to you guys being around.” 

The inaccuracy of the word “desensitized” once again flashed in his mind as he saw Deceit tamp down a smile, barely hiding the way his fangs peeked out. 

“Well, I still haven’t seen the series finale of The Good Place, so I might as well stay,” he drawled in feigned indifference. 

“The show just wouldn’t be the same without your running commentary,” Patton playfully nudged the liar’s shoulder.

They watched half of season four in one sitting. 

Patton ran a hand down his face and groaned, earning a concerned look from his best friend. 

“I’ll tell you if I need help, I promise. But I need you to trust me that, right now, I’m okay.”

“I trust you,” Virgil replied without hesitation, “It’s them I don’t trust.”

“Well, why not?” 

Logan and Roman exchanged knowing looks while Anxiety tensed his shoulders. He huffed, eyes downcast.

“I mean… it’s not exactly a secret that I didn’t leave on great terms. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still had it out for, like, all of us, due to association. Especially considering-” he gestured to Roman, who gave a solemn nod. Patton briefly reflected on the terrible fact that nobody in his life could communicate effectively (including himself (wow, maybe some of Deceit’s bitterness was rubbing off on him)). 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means there’s a chance that we’ll all come out of this for the better!” At this point it was unlikely that there was any risk, but arguing with his family made his head hurt.

“If you think you can get them to be cooperative, then I’m all for it. Our current state isn’t exactly sustainable in the long term, so we’d better resolve the issue sooner rather than later,” Logan said.

“It would be nice to not have to worry about those guys all the time, I guess. If you really think you can get them under control,” Virgil shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes- but if they do get out of hand, I will take care of them for you, Padre!” Roman flew to his feet with a self-assured smirk, eyes blazing like he could see the scene before him as he summoned his sword. 

“That...  is very sweet. I’ll keep that in mind, Ro,” Morality gently patted his arm, subtly trying to guide the sword out of its path of destruction. 

As the conversation lulled, Patton made his escape, calling out an excuse of making lunch. 

As Patton tidied his work space, his eyes flicked over the counters. He spotted a disheveled black sketchbook that lay forgotten by the stove, its cover swallowed by stickers and doodles which were unmistakably Remus’. 

That morning, The Duke had wandered in and pushed himself up onto the counter, holding out his sketchbook wordlessly, a smile on his face. It was routine by that point, but Patton was still ecstatic every time he got to see the art. While it was horrifying almost all the time, his love of drawing overpowered his disgust and he couldn’t help but shower the pictures with compliments (seeing the way Remus’ usual manic expression softened with appreciation was also a bonus).

After peeking his head around the corner to ensure that the rest of the sides were sufficiently distracted, Patton grabbed the lost leatherbound book and sank out to return it. 

Taglist:

@deceits-left-glove​ @princemesscharming @shrimp-crockpot

[metalchickaf19]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #19 - Patrick Hockstetter

Request: Hi! Could I try for a ship with Henry or Pats (whoever seems right)? I’m kinda medium-built 5“8 girl, with strong chin, gray eyes and a smile that can be considered ugly by many. I have brown hair with a few gray locks (not dyed hjsjssj) and a middle part. The only make up I ever used are dark green eyeshadow and burgundy lipstick. Not a fan of skirts, but own a ton of black knee length dresses. My usual look are military boots, green docs or old black vans and some baggy clothes + round green glasses because can’t see shit without them. Grace, flexibility? Not about me. At all. Short-tempered and grumpy unfortunate jokester whose jokes no one gets. Slut for dark and absurd humor, slasher and thriller films. Been called creepy couple times. Can’t keep a plant alive for a week. Last but not least, pretty kinky and not scared to admit it🤘🏻

Henry is extremely bothered by the fact that you’re almost the same height as he is

He side-eyes you a lot when you stand right next to each other (almost as if he suspects you’re actively competing to be taller than him), and straightens up his posture whenever you walk into a room

... Don’t tell anyone, but you’re kind of the main reason he started wearing heeled boots all the time

Yup. Dude felt the need to accentuate the whole quarter of an inch he has on you, and now copes with callused feet 5 days out of the week just to maintain that reality 

Toxic masculinity, folks - it’s an experience

Patrick is low-key fascinated by your gray hairs

He mainly uses them to insinuate that you’re a soul eater (*Plucks a stray gray hair from your shoulder* “Uh oh, sweetheart - looks like it’s time we got you another unbaptized baby to scarf.” *Highly irritating Hockstetter guffaw*), but, every once in a while, you’ve noticed him collecting them

Seriously - collecting them. He takes random strands from your coats, jackets, off your desks at school, etc.

You even caught him wrenching a fistful out of your hairbrush once, but you honestly felt it was something easier to ignore than to confront

... And, frankly, good on you for deciding that

Never ask Hockstetter what he’s doing with your locks - I can guarantee you you’ll live happier without that knowledge (he’s using them for something even worse than making a clone of you, just so you know; even. worse.)

Patrick kisses you often, because he lives to mess up your lipstick

Sometimes gives you big, mushy wet ones right before you have to go to class (and completely unexpectedly, of course) just so you have to walk into the room looking like you gave someone a blowjob immediately beforehand 

Sorry, friend - bad reputations are the price of doing business in this ‘burg

Though you don’t talk much, Victor has a crush on you as far as looks are concerned (your fashion sense appeals to him 100%)

Belch always laughs on purpose whenever you tell a joke that none of the other guys get

It’s so adorable, really - he doesn’t usually get them either, but he likes you too much to let you drown in awkward silence, so it usually goes 1.) unfortunate joke, 2.) 3-4 seconds of awkward silence as the guys continue to look at you/at each other, and 3.) a hefty (but obviously late) Huggins laugh to save the day

... It usually doesn’t make the joke any better to be honest, but hey, at least somebody responds to it

You have a friend in Belch, girl - appreciate that shit to the very end

Patrick is always trying to find ways to get the skirts of your dresses to blow upwards

Mostly because he wants that body, but also because you seriously don’t want it to happen

He’ll try to lead you past vents when you aren’t paying attention, ask you out on especially windy days, try to get you to stand on top of things (tables, chairs) so he can look underneath you, etc.

... And it was because of a situation like this (i.e. extreme perversion) that you guys originally met, actually

What can I say? It was your typical fairy-tale encounter - you had a gym class together, and you caught Hockstetter sitting underneath you one day when you were up on the bleachers

... And, for some reason, you found that appealing

So, a wonderfully dysfunctional (yet surprisingly firm) connection was born

Henry relates to you in some ways, and doesn’t mind you overall (i.e. the type of relationship where you’re mostly just “around” each other a lot), but he also thinks you’re a little creepy

Most of it is a product of the fact that you’re dating Patrick (let’s not forget - Bowers has seen much more of his insanity than most other people), but it’s also because... yeah, he’s noticed that you can’t keep plants alive

I know that’s oddly specific, but it’s true - the guys come to your house a lot, and, over time, Henry has seen a lot of different (but equally dead) flowers on your windowsill  

I don’t know, man. Weirds him out a little

You come to a lot of group horror movie nights at the hangout, and the guys love that you can hold your own about it

You usually sit next to Patrick (on the floor, dead-center in front of the TV), and watch way too close to the screen, ‘cause ya’ll are just freaks for all the gore like that

The guys usually conspire to try and scare you at some point (because brave girl = challenge accepted), but Belch always messes up the plan in some way

We’re talking coming in too late, coming in too early, making it obvious what they’re doing, falling out of his hiding places... everything you could possibly do to lack stealth and secrecy

Long story short, the guys have never once scared you successfully, and they never will as long as Huggins is on the team

Final verdict: This is a solid 9/10 relationship that I approve of in every way

You may be a little weird (and yeah, borderline creepy), but the guys can accept that about you - just as long as you can accept their flawed parts in return

[purplesurveys]

865

All About the Letter T

Animals I Like: Turtles, tarsiers, tigers. Foods I Like: Tteokbokki, tilapia, tiramisu, tofu sisig, torikatsu, takoyaki, tempura, some kinds of tarts, truffle anything. I Know Someone Who’s (jobs): Teacher, tailor, taxi driver, tricycle driver, TV producer, TV director. I Wouldn’t Mind Visiting: Thailand, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Tijuana, and Toronto so I can see Angel again. Sometimes I Feel: Tired, teary-eyed, timid, tense, threatened, and that my patience is being Tested, if it counts haha.

Music I Listen To: Troye Sivan, Twenty One Pilots, Tove Lo. Movies I’ve Seen:  Trainspotting, Two for the Road, The Theory of Everything, Toy Story 1-4, Tangled, Tarzan, Trumbo, Titanic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, This Is Spinal Tap, Tw*tches, TWILIGHT hahaha. Names I Like: Tabitha, Therese, Thea. TV Shows I Like: That’s So Raven? Hahaha not a big TV person. I can think of many others but only because they start with ‘The.’ And now, onto the random questions! 1. Do you get a tan or are you more likely to sunburn? I used to get sunburns as a kid but when I got older they stopped bothering me. As for my skin, it’s already on the tan side but sometimes I’ll still sunbathe because that I-just-came-from-the-beach kind of tan still hits different haha. 2. Have you ever slept in a tent before? Yeah but only for school activity when I was in grade school that made us stay in campus overnight. Other than for those instances I don’t think I’ve ever slept in a tent actually. 3. Have you ever looked through a telescope? Yup! In Grade 7 we had a stargazing activity and around midnight they allowed us to look through telescopes to look at the moon. The part of me who had wanted to be an astronaut and go to the moon was so, so satisfied that night. 4. Are you ticklish? Very. I hate getting tickled too and only my close friends are allowed to tease tickles with me, because otherwise I’m prone to kicking. 5. When did you lose your first tooth? It was in the middle of storytime when I was in Prep. Teacher had to close the book and get me a tissue while all the kids formed a circle to watch in awe, haha. It was nice being the center of attention for five minutes. 6. Have you ever broken your toe? Nah. Sprained an ankle, but I’ve never broken a toe. I imagine that would feel so awful. 7. When’s the last time you honestly threw a temper tantrum? It was some time in May when it was so unbelievably warm and humid at 8 AM and my dad refused to turn on the aircon. I don’t do well in hot weather and that day I happened to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, so I had all I needed to throw a tantrum haha. My tantrum that day was more on deadly silence than lashing out loudly, but still. 8. How many televisions are in your house? Four. 9. Which type of tape do you prefer? Masking. 10. Do you eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Do you even celebrate Thanksgiving? I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. 11. Have you ever used a thimble before? Nope. 12. Who’s always there for you, through thick and thin? Kimi. Can’t believe how long that dog has lasted with me, and he’s still going strong. He’s really the best. 13. Longest you’ve ever been stuck in traffic? Man my eye just twitched reading this lmao. I haven’t been stuck in traffic in SO LONG but this gave me war flashbacks!!! The longest time would be in 2018 when we were driving during a hurricane and ultimately got stuck with hundreds of other cars in a highway because the highway itself had started to flood and no one could get past it. We had to spend the night in that traffic jam and my parents took turns sleeping so they could make sure our car was safe. We were so lucky we got stuck in front of a Jollibee and Ministop, so it was easy to get food and go to the washroom whenever we needed to. 14. How many flat tires have you had? Never, thank goodness. I would have no clue what to do if one of my tires suddenly popped. 15. Have you ever ridden in a taxi before? Yes but only like once or twice because taxi drivers here are crooks. The taxis I’ve ridden in Shanghai and Singapore were a lot more pleasant. 16. Have you ever played Twister before? Yes, lots of good childhood memories attached to that game. My mom and Katreen’s mom planned out this thing where every Friday, it was the latter who was gonna pick me up from school along with Katreen, and we’d play at her place until 8 PM when my mom would get out of work and pick me up. One of the things we liked to do was play Twister. 17. Would you rather learn how to play the trombone, the trumpet, or the tuba? I suppose the trumpet? I think it’s the most basic one out of the three and thus a good brass instrument to start with. 18. Do you use a new towel every time you shower? No, not every time. 19. Would you be scared of a tarantula? I’d be scared solely because they’re venomous, but if I can be assured that they won’t attack then I’d gladly hold one for a few seconds. 20/ What temperature does the thermometer read right now? Like, my actual temperature? I don’t have a thermometer rn but I’ll probably be at 36C since that was what the thermometer showed me when I went to Cooper’s vet clinic last Friday haha. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[mystery-star]

Threshold of Space - Chapter 12 Epiphany

Pairing: Spock x OC

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

Words: 6342

All Parts: 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |  Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

In the end, she had to sit outside anyway to head her father off before he entered the house. Nicole answered her call instantly.

"Hey there. You done with your work?"

"Yup. What's up?"

"I'm bored"

"Yeah, I was too"

"And then your mother decided to make you help?"

"Not really…"

"Wait, are you outside?"

"Yeah"

"Why that? How can you do that? It must be hundred degrees at your place"

"Actually only 95.7 according to my PADD"

"That's still too hot. What are you doing outside? Fled from your Mom and the household?"

"Nah. I'm waiting for Dad"

"Did you lose your key?"

"No"

"Why are you outside then?"

"Because I need to tell him that he has to be quiet when he comes in"

"And the reason for that?"

"We have a visitor"

"Oh okay. But why would he need to be quiet. Is that visitor a baby or sleeping?"

"Nope" she grinned "He's meditating"

"Oh wow. Who even does that?" her grin got broader

"Can't you think of anyone?"

"No. No way. Don't tell me your visitor is Spock"

"Exactly"

"But what is he doing there?"

"Oh Jim forced him to take a few days off and from what he told me I concluded that he must have gotten bored, so he decided to come and spend time with me"

"Ah” she laughed “a bored Vulcan. That's nice of him. Oh did I disturb you when I called?"

"No, we just were in town at that time. No need to worry"

"Phew. When did he arrive?"

"Some hours ago. That's why I need to tell Dad so desperately because otherwise I could have just made a note at the door about what is going on"

"I see. So, what have you been doing except for being bored until your boyfriend came?"

"Not much actually" she told her a bit of her limited activities before she asked her friend what she had done in the past weeks. In the middle of her description of the holidays, she heard her father coming home "Hey uh, my Dad just came. Do you mind if we postpone this a little?"

"Sure. No problem. Just call me when you're ready"

"Alright" she ended the call and got up to greet her father

"What are you doing outside?"

"Dad, uh… we have a visitor"

"And is it one of your Mum's friend you hate that you're hiding outside?"

"Actually no, it's my visitor… But I had to see you before you enter the house"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes it is. It's just… The visitor is Spock"

"Spock as in your boyfriend?"

"Yes. And we have been to town and when we returned he said he wanted to meditate. He's probably still doing that so it's better when you're quiet when we enter. Because he wants peace. Okay?"

"Of course. Just tell me you didn't sit here for hours just because you wanted to grant this man some silence"

"No, I saw that Nicole had called me, so I used that time here to talk to her"

"That's good. How is she doing?"

"She's fine. She told me about her holiday" she opened the door and put a finger to her lips. Her father nodded and entered on his tiptoes. Carissa smiled at his antics, even more so when he whispered a hello to her mother and kissed her cheek.

"Do you think we should prepare dinner even if Spock isn't coming to eat?"

"I don't know" Carissa said "Let's wait half an hour and then we can cook. Maybe he's finished until then"

"Or he stops when he smells food"

"I doubt that but maybe…" in the end they had already started eating until her boyfriend returned from the guestroom and joined them.

"I apologize for being late" he said after greeting her father.

"It's okay" her mother assured him "As long as you had fun" Carissa shook her head with a grin.

-oO0Oo-

After dinner, the couple retreated to Carissa's bedroom and somehow she wanted to approach the topic of Finn but had no idea how to do so.

"I'm sorry you had to meet Finn like that. If it upset you or whatever I'm sorry"

"It is not your fault. And it is only logical that he dislikes me as he must see a rival in me"

"But that's not true. He should know that he has lost" she shrugged "Is that the reason you mediated for such a long time? I know that when something like that happens you need time to yourself"

"Partially it is because of the incidents in the ice cream parlor"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

“One of his statements has made me realize that there is a possibility that you will desire someone else at some point in the future”

“Of course not! He only said that because he wanted me to feel bad or whatever”

“It might be true for you now but you cannot know how you will think of our relationship in the coming years. What if it will be your wish to have a human partner?”

“Well, then it can be our problem then but not now”

“Have you ever considered that I may not be able to provide everything that you are wishing for or deserve?”

“Right now you do that. And not even I know what I want in the future…”

“Carissa, there is something else I ought to tell you”

“That is?” she asked, sensing it couldn’t be that good.

“Prior to my vacation, the Captain has let me know that the Enterprise was allowed to be the first ship to undertake a five-year-mission once the reparations are completed”

“Oh” she looked down “So you’ll be gone for five years?”

“I will”

“That’s why you said I could want to be with someone else” she wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question.

“Among other. Please know that I want for you to be happy and if you are able to find someone else during my absence, feel free to move on as it would not be proper of me to expect you to wait for my return”

“I want to wait. I mean, five years isn’t the end of the world and maybe you’ll come back before the mission is over, like on a visit. Or we can at least talk to each other. But if you meet someone else…. you can move on too” she chuckled “Now just imagine we both found someone else and once the mission is over we could set those two people up” he raised an eyebrow.

“I doubt this would work. As for your suggestion; I do not believe it will happen”

“But you’re out there and meeting new people and all. I’m sure there would be someone… special”

“Yet, I am certain that I could not love them as I love you” Carissa froze

“Did-did you just say you love me?” she felt her heart leap and she only wanted to fall round his neck.

“Indeed” she took his hand and squeezed it

“Thank you. You’ve got no idea what this means to me. Okay, I knew you care about me and you showed me all the time, which I think is better than just telling someone you love them, but it still makes me happy” she smiled broadly as she interlaced their fingers.

“It is good to hear that”

“But what has bothered you about Finn’s statement then? Did you think I could never be entirely happy with you?”

“Initially, yes. Then, however, I have come to the realization that I would not want you to be with another man, although this is egoistic of me”

“So this whole drama was just because you don’t want me to leave you? And because you were afraid that I would want someone else?” he confirmed “Okay, now I am speechless” she leaned back a little, not sure what to do with this information. “You know, I too hope that we will work out. Despite everything”

“You have my word that I will do my utmost to accomplish this”

“Yeah, same fore me” she smiled “And I want you to know that I really am glad that I met you and that we are together. And thanks too for coming and visit me, it really means a lot to me and today was fun. Well, except for Finn, of course”

“I have not even inquired how the conversation with him has made you feel”

“I’m just angry and annoyed with him… Why couldn’t he just accept it and leave? Although, he’s never been good at that.”

“As I have already mentioned, his actions were logical because he must have seen a rival in me”

“I doubt he acted out of logic… God, I have forgotten what an idiot he is... thinking that a Vulcan is a burning mountain. Burning….  I don’t think he was that dumb when we were together… What about you? I mean, didn’t it bother you? Except from what you have been thinking about later on; that I could want to be with someone else one day?”

“I cannot help but admit that I have overheard most of your discussion before I have reached the decision to end it. However, I only did so after he crossed a boundary by kissing your hand”

“Sorry” she mumbled “I didn’t even think what this must mean to you… but that means you probably didn’t see what he did in the beginning?”

“I have overheard your conversation from the point of time you told him to ‘get his paws off you’. May I ask what he has done prior to this?”

“Well he tried to help me clean up the mess on my legs… which is a place where I don’t want anyone’s hands… I mean anyone who is not my boyfriend”

“Are you implying that I am allowed to touch your legs unless you tell me otherwise?”

“Well uh… sure… if you want”

“Does it bother you that I am acting with reserve? If that is the case, you may tell me if you would like me to do something”

“No it’s fine, really. I know that this is quite unknown to you and I don’t want you to feel obliged to do something”

“I do not see a problem if you merely ask, then the decision will be up to me”

“Yes but if I keep telling you to… I don’t know, kiss me, it could happen that you’re fed up one day and give in although you don’t want it”

“Carissa, I am sure that we both know this is something you would not do. If you realized that I am reluctant to fulfil your request you would not ask for it again. If not I know that I would not agree until I am comfortable with what you are requesting”

“Okay, you got me” she chuckled. “What now? Are you willing to try out something? Or do you want to talk? Or we can go to your room to see what kind of games we have. I’m quite sure there should be a pocket chess”

“Which of these options would you favor?”

“But I asked you”

“I can only exclude conversing whereas I cannot make a decision between the other two” she snorted with laughter “Did I say something inappropriate?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man say he can’t decide between playing chess and making out”

“Does this mean that ‘making out’ was what you had in mind when you mentioned that you would like to give something a trial?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Unless you’d prefer something else. Like what we’ve talked about before”

“I must admit I prefer the first mentioned”

“What do you mean by this?”

“The first option in your last statement”

“So making out?” he agreed “Alright. Somehow this also involves touching” she cleared her throat and cupped his face. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Please, go on” she kissed him gently. It took him a while to respond but from then on it quickly got heated, at least to their standards. After a couple of minutes she had the feeling as if Spock wasn’t even trying to hold back anymore. One of his hands wandered to her hip while the other tangled in her hair. Soon her hands left his face as well and she placed one on his chest, her fingers digging into his shirt. Meanwhile a finger traced over the tip of his ear, making him freeze for a moment before he suddenly pushed her onto her back and climbed over her. His hand carefully stroked a part of the newly exposed skin where her top had rucked up a bit. It tickled and she had to bite back a giggle before she pulled him closer by the back of his head. She had no idea how far he was willing to go but a part of her hoped he wouldn’t stop there. Slowly, his hand wandered further up, under her shirt, sending shivers down her spine and felt an aroused throbbing from her middle. She wrapped her legs around his thighs, trying to pull him even closer. Just before his hand reached her bra, he stopped, almost making her protest. Unfortunately, he also parted from her lips “Did I go too far for your liking?” she shook her head

“The contrary, actually. I was a bit disappointed when your hand stopped moving”

“Would you like me to continue?”

“Only if you didn’t stop because it felt wrong to you” he shook his head. She smiled.

“Okay. Just one thing” she propped herself up onto her elbows and took off her shirt, tossing it off the bed. When he raised an eyebrow she didn’t know what to think or feel.

“If it makes you feel more comfortable I can remove my shirt as well”

“If you want” she replied with a shrug, yet hoping he would do it. And he did, after undoing the top three buttons he slipped out of the shirt, folded it once and placed it beside him. She gave a short nod after her eyes glanced over his chest. Then she laid back onto the mattress and placed a hand on his arm. He leaned over her again, looking into her eyes. “Just know that we can stop anytime it gets too much for you”

“The same applies for you” again she gave a nod and slid her hand towards his shoulder. Shortly after he closed the distance between their lips and kissed her, first tenderly then with more passion. After some hesitation, she moved her hands to his back slowly letting them wander down his spine. She wished this moment would never end but suddenly her door flew open and she heard her father’s voice

“Carissa, your mother wants… what in…?” they both shot up, staring at her father in disbelief.

“Dad!” Carissa shrieked “You could have knocked!” as it seemed her father didn’t feel too comfortable either but he quickly caught himself and left the room, closing the door

“I’d like to talk to you as soon as you’re decently dressed”

“With whom of us?”

“Both” Carissa shared a look with her boyfriend. That didn’t sound good. She was almost certain this would have consequences. Especially for him.

“I’m sorry” she whispered “I didn’t want that”

“You cannot have known and it is not your fault that it has happened”

“I could have locked the door” she shrugged “Well, we’re in for quite a talk now” she climbed off the bed and put on her shirt before she waited at the door until he joined her. They went downstairs and were awaited by both her parents in the living room. Her father sat in his armchair while her mother stood in front of the fireplace with her arms crossed.

“Sit down” she said rather harshly. Ducking her head, Carissa did as she said and Spock took a seat beside her. “Carissa, I know that you are an adult and able to decide for yourself but as long as you live under our roof, you will not sleep with any man in this house” she bit her lip and glanced at her boyfriend upon what she almost felt amusement due to the slight greenish hue on his cheeks. She didn’t know Vulcans could blush.

“Mum, we weren’t… I swear. We’re nowhere that far”

“Oh really? According to what your father told me you two were half naked”

“We-we removed only our shirts about two minutes before he entered”

“Two minutes and thirteen seconds”

“There you go”

“And what do you think would have happened if he had not stopped you?”

“What do I know? Nothing, I guess because we agreed that we wouldn’t take it… that far”

“Your father and I also didn’t plan to take things too far and three weeks later I heard I was pregnant” she almost choked on her own spit

“Rachel maybe this isn’t necessary. I mean, maybe Vulcans do… it in another way. And it’s probably not even possible that he could get her pregnant” she felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“It is possible for Vulcans to conceive a child with humans” she squeezed her eyes. Damn Vulcans and their straightforwardness and tendency to correct others…

“And how do you know that?”

“My mother was human” Carissa tore her hair

“Okay, Mum, you already gave me the talk and I bet Spock got it too. Or at least he knows”

“Your first assumption is incorrect, I have never been informed about this by either of my parents. However, it is correct that I possess knowledge on this matter nevertheless”  

“There, see? We know the facts of life. Can we please put an end to this discussion now?” 

“But does he know about protection?” 

“Okay, this is one too much. Come on, let’s go” 

“Your parents have offered us to teach us something” 

“Believe me you don’t want to know that. Besides, isn’t it illegal for Vulcans to use contraceptives now?” she glared at her mother. “Fine, alright. You can tell him everything you know. But I know and I don’t want to hear it again. Especially not when my boyfriend is around” she got up and left before her parents could say something. Somehow it didn’t surprise her that Spock didn’t join her shortly after and only hoped that he wouldn’t say a word about it when he returned. This turned out to be only wishful thinking because once he entered her room, he was trying to tell her what she had ‘missed’. 

“Your mother has requested me to inform you that she wishes to talk to you alone in the morning” 

“Ugh. Great” she groaned “I don’t think I will survive this a second time” 

“I do not see a reason why this conversation could be lethal”

“Spock, that’s just a saying” she sighed, patting the bed beside her.

“It was your father’s request that I shall leave your room now and retreat to the guest room” 

“So what? Come on, we don’t need to do everything they say”

“I do not wish to set a defiance to their rules” 

“If you’d follow each and every rule my parents make you’d never be able to leave your room” 

“Why would they not allow me to do so?”

“That was just an exaggeration” 

“However, I will comply with your father’s request and wish you a good night” 

“What exactly did he say?”

“His exact words were ‘I know you are a gentleman. Because of that you will leave our daughters room now and spend the night in your own room, is that clear?’” 

“Okay. You go to your room. I’ll join you”

“Carissa, I am certain he expects me to be in the guest room alone” 

“But he didn’t say that, did he? Besides, we won’t spend the night together if you don’t want. But we can just talk a bit before we go to bed”

-oO0Oo-

Although a part of her was glad to return to the Academy, she regretted that the holidays were over. She was mostly looking forward to seeing her friends again and somehow she was also glad to be away from her parents. They could get a bit too much now that she had lived elsewhere for three years already. It felt strange to know that this would be her last year at the Academy and that, with a bit of luck, she would be working on a ship in a couple of months. Unless she got a desk-job or something else on Earth first. And she couldn’t help but feel relieved that Oliver was gone but a part of her feared that his friends or maybe even he himself would get back at her somehow. At least she had warned Nicole about Oliver’s threat and her friend promised that anyone who’d try to mess with her would regret it.

The semester flew past like nothing and before she knew it she was buried in work to prepare herself for her semester exams. Now that he wasn’t her professor anymore, Spock helped her a lot. Besides, she was happy to spend time with him in that stressful time, even if it only was to learn.

Once she received her results after the end of the three week holidays, she saw that it also was worth it. She had passed everything very well, except for fractal calculus. Although she had imagined that, she was shocked to see that she had only gotten only 27%. Because her result was that bad she had to repeat the exam and she knew if she failed it again, she would be suspended from the Academy for three years and then she had to start over. Luckily, she was able to have a look at her answers to see where her mistakes were. Yet that was driving her even more desperate since she had no idea where she could have made that many mistakes. She consulted all her documents about the subject and redid almost all calculations again but couldn’t find anything. With time she was getting more and more desperate and was mentally saying goodbye to finishing her studies in summer. Finally, she had enough and decided to go home. Spock was working at the kitchen table and her dinner still was at her place. She mumbled a greeting and plopped down on her seat, quickly finishing her plate before she pulled out her PADD to continue where she had stopped, hoping now that she had something to eat she would find out more.

“Okay, Spock, you really need to help me” she groaned after a while, making him look at her “Tell me why I am stupid”

“Who would imply that?”

“My fractal calculus exam. I only got 27% and I can’t find where I made so many mistakes for all the will in the world” he got up and came over to her, glancing over her shoulder. She got up and let him have a seat. His eyes flew over the exam as if he was reading a book.

“I do not see a reason for this low marking as 72.4 percent of your answers are correct”

“So I’m not stupid? I really didn’t make that many mistakes?”

“No, you did not. I am certain that this low marking must derive from a fallacy”

“A-are you saying that I actually passed?”

“Indeed, with 72% if my calculations are correct” she felt her heart making a leap

“Thank you” she grabbed him by the shirt and crashed her lips onto his. “I’ll go and talk to Professor Lawson tomorrow to have this corrected”

“Should you wish, I can come with you”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Yes because I have made the experience that most professors are not overly fond of cadets who correct them” she giggled

“Well if someone knows that it’s you. How many times d’you guess you did it?”

“247 times” she nodded.

“Okay. I’d like you to come with me. Tomorrow?”

“Yes. We will meet in in Professor Lawson’s office at 1810 hours”

“Perfect”

-oO0Oo-

As it turned out, there really had been a mistake and the evaluator had written the wrong percentage on her file. Somehow she wasn’t even mad, after all it meant she had passed the test anyway. On their way to Spock’s apartment, she was grinning broadly and was hopping happily beside the Vulcan who only cocked up an eyebrow at her antics.

“What is causing your cheerfulness?”

“I passed this exam. I’m not a complete failure like I thought. It’s just been a dumb mistake”

“It is most likely anything but a mistake”

“Why are you saying that?” her grin disappeared.

“Did you not listen to Professor Lawson?”

“He-he said it was a mistake”

“He did. I take you have not heard who was evaluating your exam?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“His words were ‘Oh it looks like Roger has made a mistake’, which has made me skeptical about the fact that it supposedly was a mistake.”

“Yeah but I don’t know who this Roger is”

“This is because only his family name is known to you”

“And his family name is?”

“Moore”

“Wait. Professor Moore corrected my exam?”

“Correct”

“Oh now I see what you mean. He’s probably done it on purpose because Oliver was expelled because of me. He hoped he could have me removed from the Academy as well” suddenly her good mood was gone and she clenched her fists. She took a deep breath “Well, he didn’t succeed. That’s all that counts” she looked at her boyfriend who shook his head

“It would not be proper to take no notice of the matter”

“Are you gonna report this?”

“I have to. But I will see to it that you will not be involved”

“How’s that possible since this is about me?”

“Your testimony will be unnecessary since I know all the facts as well”

“And you don’t think Moore will think it’s suspicious that you’re blaming him? He seems to believe you only want to get back at him for something. Then they will ask me anyway and then he’ll blame me to have plotted something against him with you…”

“This may seem like a logical conclusion to you but I assure you that the judges will know that Vulcans do not seek revenge”

“If you say so. Just be careful. If you don’t succeed, he could get even angrier and actually try to get revenge on either of us”

“You have my word that I will not give him a chance to exact vengeance on you”

“What about you?”

“By being true to my word, there will be nothing he could do to affect me” she glanced up at him, feeling a warmth spreading through her body.

“Does that mean he could only hurt you through me?”

“That is correct” she swallowed and took his hand, squeezing it.

“I don’t know what to say. I-I never thought I’d be that important to you”

“Of course you are” he replied, squeezing her hand back. She got on her tiptoes and pecked his lips

“Let’s go home that I can kiss you properly”

“If you are implying that you are hoping for another ‘make-out session’ I can assure you that I have no objections against it”

-oO0Oo-

“So you didn’t fail your exam?” Nicole asked with a shriek

“Nope” Carissa explained her friend the following day

“Cassie, that’s great to hear. I’m so happy for you”

“Yeah, me too” she thought it was better not to tell her that Moore did it on purpose. At least not yet.

“How did you find out?”

“Well I almost got desperate when I tried to find my mistakes so I asked Spock. And he found out there had to be a mistake in mere minutes. He said I should have gotten 72% on the assignment”

“Then that’ll be correct. Wow, that’s even better than I was” she grinned and nudged her side “I bet you’ll miss him a lot when you move to your new dorm next week” Carissa sighed and nodded. Now that all three dorm towers had been rebuilt, she found it was better to move back onto Academy grounds for the last semester. After all she wanted to give Spock some free time because he would be leaving for the mission in summer and be around people all the time for five years.

“Yeah. But not as much when he’s on that mission”

“Oh right. But hey, by that time you probably will be in a crew as well and explore space too. Then you probably won’t have much time to miss him”

“That is if I get a job on a ship”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re one of the best of our year, if someone gets a position on a ship it’s you” she smiled

“Thanks, Nicole”

“Always”

-oO0Oo-

Although no one told her when Spock had officially reported what Moore did she still knew it. Because that was the time that the professor started be impossible towards her and didn’t let a chance to make her look like a fool pass. The most notable thing he did was when he presented two of her essays as negative example in front of the class and picked everything about it to pieces. She started to hate the course even more, just like at the time after Spock had broken up with her. Somehow she couldn’t believe this was two years ago and that she had been without him for a whole year.

Then suddenly, one day as she was sitting in Moore’s classroom with her head hung low and absolutely no motivation, Nicole suddenly nudged her side with her elbow.

“Cassie look” she murmured from the corner of her mouth and Carissa stared at her

“What? Has he already started? Is he doing something against me? Maybe he’s found my diary and wants to read it in front of everyone”

“No, I have a feeling you’re gonna love this lesson.” she nodded her head towards the front and when she followed her look, she saw Spock taking out his stuff out of his bag at the teacher’s desk. A bright smile was on her face. It probably meant that Moore was either at this trial or gone. Her classmates started whispering not so nice things about her boyfriend and Carissa didn’t know whether she should tell them that he could probably hear them.

“Good morning, Cadets” Spock greeted them “I do not know if you are aware of this yet but Professor Moore has been dismissed without notice and I will assume his position until the Academy has found a suitable replacement” the whispers got louder and Nicole looked at Carissa, silently asking if Moore had been sacked because of what she thought. Carissa gave a slight nod before looking back to the front. “I have returned you your corrected essays and I would like you to deliver your new homework within the next five minutes” they all turned on their PADDs to check out their returned essays and hand in the task they had to fulfill for today. To Carissa’s surprise she had received nothing and she raised her hand “Cadet Wiley?”

“I uh… have nothing in my inbox”

“It appears that you have failed to turn in your essay”

“But I did turn it in. I even saw the note that it had been delivered!” she protested

“Oh poor Carissa forgot to do her homework and is sad about her zero” a classmate sneered.

“Cadet Graham, please keep all remarks that do not connect to the lesson private” she head her classmate mutter something and she was quite sure that her boyfriend had heard it. “As for you, Cadet Wiley, please turn in your current homework” she nodded and did as he wanted.

“Is it possible that my essay was lost when you took over Professor Moore’s data?” she then asked

“Cadet Wiley, please raise your hand if you have something to say” she had definitely spent too much time around him because she didn’t see him as something else than her boyfriend. She looked down

“I’m sorry” she mumbled, fully knowing he could hear it.

“Has everyone turned in their homework?” the cadets murmured in agreement and Spock started the lesson. When they were reading a chapter, she suddenly got notified that she had received a corrected document back. Curiously she opened it, only to see it was the essay from last time, the one she had believed lost. She smiled and was quite happy with her 65% score. Her mood improved even more when she saw Spock’s comment at the bottom, informing her that he wanted to speak to her after the lesson.

-oO0Oo-

Before the lesson was over, Spock officially told her that he wanted to talk to her about her homework, so she waited until everyone else left.

“I bet this has got zero to do with homework. Have fun” Nicole whispered in her ear and grinned before she exited as well. Meanwhile, Carissa took a seat in the front row and watched her boyfriend putting his things into his bag.

“How did you find my essay? I mean, where was it?” she asked

“It appears that Professor Moore has implanted a code that instantly deletes your submissions, cadet”

“What the hell?” she muttered “Did he really think you wouldn’t have noticed? Sir?”

“Had you not told me that you have turned it in, it would have taken me a couple of weeks to detect it”

“And you don’t think it would have been suspicious if I never turned in my stuff?”

“I admit, from this point of view, the professor’s action was not sophisticated. But he was only hoping for you to be punished”

“Well luckily you’re such a computer expert and could eliminate this code before something happened. I guess you also retrieved my latest homework and got rid of that stupid code that deletes my stuff?”

“Affirmative”

“Thanks, professor” he dismissed her and she looked at the desk, then back at him “I know this has nothing to do with school anymore but I’m officially on break now. How are you doing? Enjoying to have the apartment to yourself again?”

“Yes, I have gotten accustomed to live by myself again. I take it you have settled into your new dormitory well?”

“Kinda. My first dorm mate hated Blacky so she changed with someone who could not stand her dorm mate” she shrugged “So now I share with a second year cadet called Nialaxe. And well, her former roommate didn’t want to be with her because Nia’s a Betazoid and was afraid she would read her mind and manipulate the hell out of her. Which I think is what she deserves because she can be a real bitch” she grinned. He gave a nod.

“You have forgotten some of your belongings in my apartment”

“Oh, I almost imagined that. Do you want me to come and pick them up?”

“That is not necessary as I have them with me today”

“Okay, thanks” she said as he handed her some of her clothing. “Do you have another moment or are you leaving or expecting a new class?”

“No, I have two free periods”

“Really? I’d have a lecture now but I usually never go there anyway. I watch it in the evening, double speed” Spock raised an eyebrow

“Although I do not approve of this decision I respect it”

“Oh come on, I said I always watch them. It’s not like I don’t visit them at all. And if I have a question, I’ll go to the actual lecture next time to ask” she crossed her arms and glared at him “Anyways, would you like to do something until we need to be back?”

“If this is your wish, we can do that”

“But only if you don’t need to prepare something for your next lesson or so”

“No, I have finished everything yesterday evening”

“Great” she beamed and got up “Let’s go”

“I do, however, have one condition”

“That is?”

“Seeing as I am temporarily your professor again, it would be wiser to make sure no one else learns about our relationship”

“Oh, right” she thought for a moment “We could go to the city? Then we’ll meet at the end of Academy ground?”

“It would be better to stay on Academy ground during the day”

“We could go to my dorm then… It’ll be empty because Nia has classes. And if she does come… she knows about our relationship anyways and sooner or later she’ll probably also know that you’re teaching again”

“This idea is feasible”

“Alright”

-oO0Oo-

“Where have you been? We thought you’d be coming to the library as always” Nicole and Lucie asked her in the next lesson

“Oh well…”

“Don’t tell me he had a free period too”

“He did” she said with a smile

“And?” Lucie squealed “That smiles says everything. How was it?”

“What? No, no way. We’re still not that far. And I really think he would do it until we’re married”

“Well…”

“I don’t mind because it’s really fine. Besides I think it’s better if we don’t try to I don’t know… schedule it but let it happen when it happens”

“That sounds great. Do you think you’re ready?”

“No idea. At times I think it could happen any moment, then I suddenly start to freak out about it. That worries him because he always notices when I’m worried and thinks he did something wrong”

“You know, although I wouldn’t want to be with a Vulcan your stories still make me hella jealous. he seems so sweet” Carissa grinned. The Professor entered and Lucie went to her seat before the lesson started.

-

Next Chapter

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 44

Last time: Doctor Marcoh broke the Hippocratic Oath, Envy chose the worst possible host, and a Central Officer showed Armstrong the Great his collection of action figures. Onwards!

Episode 44 - “Revving at Full Throttle” Oh heck yeah, we’re starting at the family reunion in Liore! Camera shows the radio fixed by the Elric Brothers way back when. [Beard]: “It’s been a long time, huh Al?” [Al]: “Yeah.” *awkwardness intensifies* [Beard]: “So, uh… I saw Pinako recently.” *Rose is standing off to the side, probably wondering about this ‘Pinako’ character her new boyfriend is talking about* [Beard]: “She told me about your body.” *awkwardness intensifies* *awkwardness intensifies* *awkwardness intensifies* [Villagers]: “Hey Mister Ho, could you-” [Beard]: “Oh sweet Leto yes get me out of this family drama. Absentee Anime Father, away!” Wow, really? Al are you just gonna let him walk away from this conversation? You haven’t seen him for a large portion, if not most of your life! Demand some friggin answers! Well at least the cook is trying to cheer Al up, thanking him for fixing up the radio. Al apologizes for the riot being caused by them exposing Cornello, but Cookie insists on looking at the good stuff that happened.

Sure people reacted “badly” at first, but now everyone’s all happily working together to rebuild from the ashes of their home! Can’t fault the man’s optimism. Inspired!Al goes running off to help build, seeing their General getting his hands dirty Toad and Boar (still wearing their winter clothes?) tag along, dragging a protesting Yoki with them. The Villagers are realizing Oh Crap We Interrupted Family Reunion, but Beard’s brushing it off. He left when Al was super young, he probably doesn’t even think of Beard as his father anymore. And have you seen the guy try to smalltalk? He doesn’t know what to say- [Al, clanking towards the group]: “Hey pops! Imma help with the building, cool? Cool. Hey NPCs, gimme that heavy stuff to cart around.” Aw, Beard gets to see that Al being trapped in a cold, unfeeling suit of armor hasn’t kept him from being a decent person. Whoa okay bath time for Winry, apologies for interrupting. Winry’s happy to finally get a good bath after traveling for so long. Rose is chatting with her while laying out clothes, admiring Winry for being a independent Automail Engineer at her age. And she was the one who literally got Ed back on his feet, which would mean later he would help Rose get back on hers. *Goes back to Ep 3 Recap*. That’s right, he told her to Keep Moving Forward, that she needed to use her two good legs to make her own path. Rose tells Winry about her misplaced belief in Cornello, when Winry gripes about Ed’s Tough Love routine Rose says that’s just his way of being nice. [Rose]: “But you already know that, don’t you?” [Winry]: *Stammers, blushes, and tries to hide her face in her tea.* So yeah, Ed exposed the truth behind Cornello’s miracles, and now Liore is learning to stand on its own. “All thanks to Ed and Al.”... yeah, calling it now. We’ll come back to this place in a decade or two, and the old Church of Leto will have been replaced with one to The Armor and the Alchemist. Hey, it’s Lizard dude! Bido, according to Bag of Magic Food. He’s going through a tunnel, griping that it was a bad idea to follow those MPs aw crap he’s wandering into Uncle’s sanctum, isn’t he? Turn around dude! But he’s still looking for Mister Greed, squeezes through some pipes to crap it’s the Golem Room. And are the Officer and Armstrong the Great still there? Quick, pull an Igor!

Ok, so it looks like he got there just before the Officer did his “Look at my cool toys” reveal, he’s hiding behind the pipes again. Officer’s explaining that the Golems are empty dummies that they can bond souls to. Oh, so they’re like Advanced Soul Armors, then? Tell me, have you gotten around the problem that Al’s having of the body rejecting the soul? Anyways, the Golems are immortal and apparently any bonded souls will be completely obedient. Alright Armstrong the Great, here’s the kicker; where do the souls to activate the Golems come from? Officer says that they’ll come from rival nations, “through the course of war”. Hoo boy. This was what I was afraid of way back when the concept of Philosopher Stones was introduced to Armstrong the Great. She is fiercely loyal to her troops and those she chooses to protect, it was the threat against her own forces and the reveal that the Goths were going to harvest the entire country that allied her with our main characters. But an army fueled by the conquest of Others? A chance to not just defeat her hated Drachman enemies, but fully convert them to her cause? Weapons that only grow stronger the more she uses them? I mean, with all the pushing around by Central and bullying of her troops I’m giving her 80% odds to still reject the Golems. But that remaining 20… We don’t get to hear any more as Bido freaks the fuck out and bolts back down the tunnels, screaming his head off. [Bido]: “This place is evil! Pure evil! Why did I ever come here?! Mister Greed would never be in an awful place like this-” Oh hey, it’s Ling! How’s Greed going to react to seeing an old “possession”: happy to see something of old that he gets to claim again, or annoyed that one of his old crew fled rather than try to help him? We’ll get back to that, we’re back in Liore where Al is warning Beard about the giant tunnel running under Liore. Beard tells him to stop talking about the Super Secret Goth Plot To Harvest A Country in the middle of the town square, waits until they’re in the ruins of the Church to discuss the story. He’s letting Al explain everything, does he want to keep his own involvement secret for- well never mind, Al’s brought up his Identical Brother chilling in Central. Beard turns away still acting all Mysterious wait what [Menacing!Beard]: “Did it ever cross your mind that I might be on their side?” But you’re not, unless… NOW HOLD UP. If you’re telling me that we’re looking at a Triplet situation, that Uncle made another copy to Oh ok I get it now. Beard is just emphasizing how trusting Al is, at least with him. But seriously dude, now that I’m thinking about it spilling your entire plan to a guy because you think he’s your father is a terrible idea. Maybe ask him to repeat a childhood memory, or somesuch? So after Al gets his non-corporeal heart to calm down from that scare, Beard says that he wants to tell his Backstory to both brothers in order to save time. Right, about that… Back up in the land of snow, at… “Bank’s Bank”? Really? That’s like a restaurant owned by Mister Burger or a law office run by Johnny Litigator. Whatever. Registers are ringing and checks are being cashed when huh. Sorry, just distracted by the banker’s appearance, she’s a lady with blonde hair but brown eyes and Ishvalan skin. What’s her story, is she an Amestrian/Ishvalan child like Sideburns? Moving on, a giant of a man is making a withdrawal oh hey it’s Monkey, he’s drawing from Ed’s account. Uh, are you that badly strapped for cash? You know that a withdrawal from the Protagonist’s account, by an unknown party no less, is going to raise all kinds of flags in Central. Yup, Monkey got the cash from Ed’s research account, but another banker’s already making a call. Ah, so it was for the medical bill. How much was this doctor charging? Oh jeez, the guy’s chuckling and saying he could charge them even more, Monkey complains that he’s already ripping them off but the doc’s likewise squinty-eyed wife says it’s only “reasonable” considering the risks involved.

Well, as long as they keep their mouths shut well never mind, looks like the cops are already on to them. I don’t suppose they can get a refund? The cops show up and push past the doctor, Lion’s getting bandaged by Mrs. Doctor. Oh great way to sell out the resting patient, our guys had better get a refund if he’s going to cave this quickly. No wait it’s just Monkey scowling from under some covers wait is he trying to hide Ed under the sheets? The cop asks if Monkey was at the bank earlier, and pulls a gun… Outside a guard hears someone walking, another white coat? Doctor #2? Cop #1 is ordering for Monkey to put his hands up oh hey the white coat outside is Ed with some groceries! Outfit change? I suppose his red coat was pretty distinctive. While Monkey’s at gunpoint Lion readies his own pistol and Monkey starts drawing his own gun, things might get loud pretty soon. Wait, is Ed’s hair loose? What happened to the ponytail?

Ok yeah, that was pretty distinctive like his coat. Outside guard is listing off the red coat, blond hair worn in a braid… uh oh. Here it comes. [Guard]: “... and short.” [Ed]: *bites through wooden skewer in annoyance* Nice knowing you, guard. The cops in the apartment hear a thud, and #1 tells another to check out the noise. Outside Guard is out cold, Cop #2 tries waking him up before there’s another thud, #1’s left yelling at the other two for answers when

Wait hold on, is Ed grabbing this guy around the neck? Is he standing on a box or something? Unless… no. No! Is it finally happening? Is my little boy finally getting a growth spurt?! … Wait, but if he’s growing taller, but has an artificial leg whoops better find Winry quick to upgrade, fighting might be a bit difficult if you’re all lopsided. Monkey snarks that Ed just had to take out three MPs on his own, when he hasn’t fully recovered yet. [Ed]: “Don’t treat me like an invalid. My injuries are fully healed, and I’m revving at full throttle!” Title drop! And damn but Ed’s rocking the new look. White coat, loose hair, and a growth spurt? Leg imbalance aside, I am totally down for this. Wait, is this because he “used his own life force” to patch himself up earlier? His body aged up from the energy expenditure? Cool! Mid-ep pictures of Bath!Winry and Older!Ed. So is carrying a wooden skewer in your mouth just a thing now, Ed? The doc’s telling Ed and the Chimeras to shove off, doesn’t look like that refund’s coming after all. Ed snags the Guard’s note in passing, thinking about how they’re just looking for the red coat and braid (pointedly ignoring the “short” comment), guess the outfit change is staying around for a while. Whoops! Took too long, some other MPs have shown up and are demanding they freeze. Wait, “move it kid”? Oh yeah, they’re just telling the guys with visible weapons to stand down, they think that the kid chowing down on bread is a bystander. Who just got grabbed by Monkey and threatened with a weapon! Monkey uses the MPs shock at the hostage-taking to tuck Ed under his arm and run for it, outside some more MPs spot them but Lion shoots some snow down on them. Run for it! One hotwired car later, Ed tells ‘Gorilla’ (“Don’t call me that!”) to step on it, but their stolen car isn’t fast enough to outrun vehicles from Northern Command. Dodge a truck so the MPs crash into it? That they… can’t do, actually. The MPs are catching up when Ed says to turn a corner and park. Plan? Transmutation sounds as they round the corner, the MPs follow but… it’s gone? Wait there’s another car in the road, but… … Ow. Ow ow ow. OW! Sweet Leto, but that hurts the eyes. Really, Ed? I can only assume that the MPs brains have shut off from the sheer garishness of that thing, they drive past the parked car looking for something a little more sensible. The Chimeras immediately ask for the car to be turned back to normal. [Ed]: “And why’s that? I think this car looks cool as hell!” [Monkey]: “Just change it back. Please, we’re begging you!” [Ed]: “You guys got a problem with my sense of style?!” [Monkey/Lion]: “You don’t have any!” Outside of town, Monkey’s answering the call of nature while they all discuss being drifters again. Ed’s wait buddy you’ve got your hair back in a ponytail, it’s not a full-on braid but it’s still close enough that any guards are going to give you a second look. Go back to the loose hair disguise! Ed’s thinking about how he let his guard down around Kimblee, and hoping that Al’s ok. For now, the Chimeras are asking their new boss where to go, Ed says that they need to find Al who’s probably with Marcoh now. [Lion]: “You do know how to find them, right?” [Ed]: “Right, about that…” In Liore, Al’s trying to wrap his head around Beard’s Backstory. Beard understands if Al doesn’t believe him, it’s a pretty crazy story. Then we remember that Beard’s talking to a soul bound to a suit of armor, so the idea that Beard is a Philosopher’s Stone isn’t that far fetched. They chat about being immortal, and thankfully Beard acknowledges the advantages of his form before settling on the fact that seeing everyone he knows and loves wither and perish sucks. Hey yeah, if you have a Philosopher's Stone body, did that affect Ed and Al’s development? Apparently not, Beard says he still has a human body. Unlike Uncle, who’s likened to “a leather bag”. He built a human body around himself and his gathered souls, so if they can destroy the body… Speaking of, the Nationwide TC! Beard looks over the TC and reverse-TC while Al says they can destroy the tunnel below Liore, but Beard shuts down the idea. Pride’s watching over the tunnel. But can they still try before nope we know the tunnel’s finished, and Beard is rather relaxed about the idea it’s complete. “Because it’s not yet time”? How do you know? [Beard]: “Look up, son. You’re too busy looking down when you need to look up.” Oh! I get it, it’s a constellation thing! That explains why the Xerxes King was talking about carving all the Crests before it was too late, the Nationwide TC needs the right positioning of the stars. Can’t do it until then.

Yes please follow along Al, look up to the sky, to… LETO! Bwahaha, Al thinks that Beard’s talking about Sun-God Leto. There we go, turns out Beard has converted to Letoism and plans on praying the Goths away. Or the Man in Central could indeed be waiting for the right star positions, that works too I guess. Oh hey, back to Bido in the pipes. Running? Oh shoot, looks like it was “Annoyed his possession abandoned him” Greed after all. Greed laughs about the chance to kill his boredom, Bido’s shocked to see the Ultimate Shield and hear the voice, yells at Greed for imitating Mister Greed. Wait, does Greed not recognize Bido? Greed boasts about wanting everything, Bido finishes his spiel about demanding the finer things in life. Greed asks who Bido is wait static? Ok, so Greed really doesn’t remember his past iteration? He lost his memories when Uncle reconsumed him? Bido’s struggling to reconcile the Mister Greed he knew with this new guy, while Greed demands Bido answer his questions. [Bido]: “It’s me! I’m your friend, Bido! You haven’t been gone from Dublith long enough to forget!” [Greed]: “Oh, you’re from Dublith! Ooohoho, now it makes sense!” [Bido]: “You remember m SHIT Greed just stabbed Bido! [Greed]: “Afraid not. You must have been buddies with the previous Greed.” Well this sucks, Bido’s trembling in pain and grief while Greed says they’ve never even met wait the static’s back and his arm is trembling and the static is becoming visions of Greed’s old crew. Is his memory returning? Hoo boy Ling’s calling Greed out for killing his old friend. Greed protests that Bido wasn’t his friend, that those memories belonged to the previous Greed. [Ling]: “Then why are you in so much pain?!” Ling’s threatening that if Greed doesn’t pull himself together that he’ll take control of the body again. Greeds gritting out that his old memories were purged by Uncle, that they aren’t part of him anymore- [Ling]: “No, you’re wrong Greed! It’s not that easy! They’ll always be a part of you! You can’t just erase them from your soul! They were the only part of you that you chose! Look at them! Can you not hear their souls crying out? You abandoned them, your real family! You threw them away like trash! Fool, you turned your back on something you wanted. You don’t deserve to call yourself Greed!” Clutching the still form of Bido, Greed screams. End Credits. Post-credit scene in Central at the Bradley Manor, Mama Bradley is suggesting a book to Selim. About an adventurer who travels the world- Bradley’s looked up and Mama Bradley grabbed Selim at the sound of rustling and footsteps. It’s Greed. And he’s not happy.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 142

I used up all my delayed gratification avoid spoilers and not listening to a season a day; so in an act of optimism over evidence I am going to listen before bed instead of waiting for my lunch break at work. Come on dead!Shoin! It would be the perfect punchline to Zolf refusing to play, if Yoshida was killed by his own trap. I think I was wrong about Zolf's spell sobering up Skraak but we've got to be nearing the 24 hour mark in the next couple episodes. They have to sleep sometime. Eep! Streaming promo! Rusty Towers has to be doing well if they can branch out, good for them! What can I say I like rituals? Thank yous followed by the theme and intros make my brain light up. Alex went 3rd person over the stress of the series being up to 142? Time to poke the corpse. Exploding 20s sound fun but a pain to plan for. Body is in a state of disrepair. Panel open in the room indicates the bolt came from a trap Body is gross Adventurer not Shoin? We can't search the corpse? Not even for Alex's traditional wallet of backstory? Can't picture the layout (ETA  Babs you are amazing, and your map is my RQG post for tomorrow.) Explanation for this area having power, I just like hearing Cel talk. Locker by each door. No Alex, we don't trust them to be normal lockers. Fire ax, weird wrench, box. Box contains: Solvent, glue, a dead potion, means of applying glue/solvent Cel sounds like they are consoling themself for this not being a puzzle Zolf is not a public speaker, but I think I got the gist of it. Take the tool kits: we will need them whether this is a puzzle or not. Another dead trap. Thanks for the careful wording, Alex *Foul water pool surrounded by a walk way *2 dead kobolds :( *Killed by acid in the face from a creature I am tempted to mark the turnings but given the weird layout I don't think I could track it right even if I could juggle my MP3 player, this post, a pen and paper. Once again just going to trust them to spell out what's important. Yeah they would check for traps at every door. Ooh active trap. Its a well balanced team, nice to hear them give eachother credit for their respective strengths so readily. Dark hall way of options They are honest, and admit they are probably not checking for traps as they walk. Oh good Zolf doesn't actually have a Thing about Dancing Lights. It really was just a "could we not make it easier for people to shoot us?" coupled with a possibly IC trouble relating to how much moving around in the dark stinks without Dark Vision. Ha they immediately spot a tripwire they would have missed if they just had Zolf & Azu lead them in the dark. Chalk marking, ensuing discussion of what it means. Is that Zolf or Ben who is losing it over the puzzles? Cel, do you need a variation on the "a live dog is better than a dead lion" speech I nearly wrote when Hamid went after that ooze? Because dead scientists can't write up their findings. Love ya both, if you have to die, please not to something you could have just walked away from. Of course Zolf is going to indulge them; he took to Cel fast as Sasha and Cel is less squishy than L1 Sasha. Oh darn I have to be fair, learning what the symbols mean could be life saving later on. The glaive really is a 10ft pole, I was joking when I asked that. I hate the word "seemingly". Alex, don't break Ben. Hmm, this is actually pulpy fun. Getting us back to base levels after really intense beginning of the season or being readied for more emotional content? Most of the beats I'm expecting can't hit until they get off the island; could be the answers to the what's going on around here are intense. Final bets on it being Mr. Ceiling mark 1? Weird room with weirder floor. Clearly another puzzle. Once again how rich is this guy? That's a lot of money to go "I'm smarter than you are". Genre savvy is rewarded Dead wizard "I'm giving you this for free" is Alex implying that other info given without rolls has a price normally? Other room is completely flooded? Zolf suggests we mark the door.  Kinky Azu. Hamid switches mark to clearly writing the issue. This team backs a play,  so its now a Rosetta Stone of warnings Partially flooded room but no real danger? Ah Zolf catches that we could lose our path back if we keep doing letting water out. Flooded & trashed lab Speakers burst to life Break time Its Yoshida, arguing with himself. Cel is a delight. Azu is "going to shake" Yoshida Swimming sounds like a bad idea. Oh, caught that tone from Zolf, does he think Poseidon would mess with them? Worrying since Alex keeps tossing water related potions at them. Zolf and Hamid are making decisions as equals. Hamid no longer sounds nervous and Zolf still isn't pulling rank crap. Even Skraak is worried about Zolf. Oh right, better is a relative term. Still pretty depressed (mechanicaly grief stricken). Ok not to get to into it, but Zolf's mental health arc is really good. Like no show is perfect but Zolf going from the Paris breakdown to clearly putting the work in on changing how he talks about himself and relates to the team, but it not being a cure all? All while still being a fully contributing member of the team? Pretty damn good to see. Back to first room. Cel does not understand where Zolf is coming from. Cel, Azu, and Zolf have a brief conversation about Zolf's mood. Have I mentioned how great Azu is lately? Player vs Character thing? Because even without Alex lamp-shading it, Lydia doesn't strike me as the "you must be chipper" type. Zolf and Cel interaction. Zolf wants to put a pin in this and have a proper conversation later. Not sure how I feel about promising to "keep a lid on it". On the other hand its hard to balance expressing the emotion vs ramping yourself up vs the needs of the rest of the team. So much for me not getting into it. Flip-side: hey, turns out I can acknowledge an actual flaw in Cel while still thinking they are awesome overall. Crates of potions, including the stuff from the syringe spears. wanna grab a sample this time? Because I'm thinking the stuff in the spears is the stuff that makes the Kobolds so docile and may be a prototype for the alchemical side of the blue veins. That sounds cathartic for Zolf. (looting the place then letting Zolf smash the rest) Azu smashes too. Good for both of them. Ah point Cel, stuff could have airborne effects. Point Zolf, 2 way street, Cel should let people know that kind of thing. Speakers, what is up with Shoin? Assuming this isn't a pre-programmed contingency (which I wouldn't have thought possible until watching Alex), why is he using the script from the puzzle party while half of the traps are broken? Getting meta again Well maintained nasty trap with really obscure poison 2nd trap?! Isn't going to kill anyone, thank Alex. What in the Magnus Archives? Dancing mannequin room with weird heavy gas? Going to crawl on the conveyor belt. Its trapped too. Acid damage to Azu. Into initiative.

Skraak got a nat 20

Azu was hit with a syringe arrow of acid. 

Azu backs out past Hamid & Skraak

A second trip wire drops a grate! Hamid and Skraak are trapped on the conveyor; everyone else is back in the room.

Zolf sees Cel dithering and directs them to deal with the grate. No effect

Azu takes 7 damage

Hamid uses acid splash on the grate.

Oh cool, there is an actual rule for how long it takes to get armor on and off. It makes sense too, the better the armor is the longer it takes. From what I picked up, better armor would have more straps for better fit and have more thick overlapping bits rather than gaps

All Zolf can do is a heal check and help Azu get her armor off.

Cel offers the antidote potion, but we don't know what it does.

Hamid reassures Skraak, continues to splash grate

Cel can't really do anything

More damage to Azu

Sweet out of initiative

Zolf cleans Azu off, Azu takes a couple healing potions and that’s dealt with. The acid splashes didn't do anything to the grate. Lift the grate attempt one. Ah "come on Skraak,  we're going to help" so wholesome Zolf wacks it with his glaive, it has some effect but not a viable plan Speakers again, Cel points out they might need to meet Hamid on the other side. ...long story short lever attempt has no chance of working. Zolf: Hamid, mate, you're on your own Hamid: I've got Skraak. (winks at Skraak, Skraak blinks at him) Is it having little brothers? He is good with Skraak! Zolf: chin up, don't die on the conveyor belt. Hamid: yup gonna try Zolf: cool anything we can give you? Hamid: I'm pretty well equipped I think. Zolf: all right well we'll see you on the other side. Azu: Yeah, we'll meet you there alright. We'll see you soon Hamid: yeah Azu: alright Hamid: stay safe Azu & Zolf: you too And the end of the episode out takes are always fun

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy page 9 to page 11

Oh damn, I actually got sucked into the story a bit that i forget to react at all to 9 and 10, got midway through the 11 johndave convo that i realized oh fuck right i should be writing this shit down

So, interestingly enough, the narrative seems to be implying that Jade wants to do a quadrant polyamorous thing with Karkat and Dave

the little mention of fledgling kismessitude with her and karkat and the later notes of her wanting to fuck both dave and karkat suggests that she wants Karkat in Spades and Dave in Hearts

though funnily enough she might actually want to flipflop between the both of them as well

because the little quip about her being determined to solve relationship problems like math problems and turning their hands flipwise behind her back just reminded me of Karkat’s attempt to partition Terezi between himself and Dave also potentially flipflopping the quadrants the same way

just this time it’s Jade not Terezi and it’s the girl not Karkat being the one to suggest it lol

She does also literally make a diamond with her hands and put Karkat and Dave at the centre of it, suggesting she doesn’t mind them being in a relationship together, but wants monopolyamory of the sexuality part of it

Dave and Karkat stay diamonds in her mind while both take turns being flush or pitch with her

It’s a perfectly mathematical arrangement

John’s not wrong when he says she has the social graces of an elephant lol

But it is clear that she does love them both and is just lonely

Everyone seems to be having similar love troubles

John considering between Roxy and Terezi and since his feelings don’t clearly lie in one direction it makes him feel guilty, cuz even when directly confronted with Dave’s situation he doesn’t really entertain the idea that he could do something similar at all, and feels really uncomfortable with Roxy’s and Calliope’s previous relationship, like he feels bad Roxy has to choose him over her, also not thinking about a love triangle as a solution rather than as a problem

Really laying it on thick the idea of having to choose between one thing or another thing in a black and white this or that only sort of way is a really difficult and tragic way of looking at the situation

Heck, they even talk about how coins flips don’t always mean you have two options

“DAVE: ok so every time you flip a coin youre creating an alternate timeline right”

Meat and Candy are alternate timelines created by a “seemingly” binary choice

“DAVE: one where it lands heads and one where it lands tails”

So choose, Meat, or Candy?

“DAVE: but while the coin is flipping both possibilities exist simultaneously”

A prologue for the epilogues existed, a time before John (The Reader) actually made a choice, but it could no futher until a choice was made, until the coin fell

“JOHN: but what if you knew for sure that you’d make the same decision no matter which side landed up?

DAVE: you cant

JOHN: so... it’s like the coin never lands then?

There is a “correct” decision for both of them, both of them do have an idea of which choice theyd prefer over the other, it’s not equalized to them, but they feel guilty about that

they dance around the idea of there being a third option, but don’t have the words to articulate what that means for them besides “not having the coin ever fall, keep it suspended forever and the choice never has to happen”

Because a Coin can’t land both heads up and tails up

but it can land perfectly on it’s razor edge if you’re lucky

You can actively choose another way, rather than just avoid making a choice

Though it is also unfortunately is also implying that both Dave and John would rather be making one choice over another

Dave doesn’t love Jade romantically, not really, he just feels guilty about her and her situation, Dave loves Karkat and here, the idea makes him panic

John doesn’t love Roxy romantically, not really, he just feels guilty about her and her situation, John loves Terezi, and here, the idea makes him panic

Both of them feel like they should try to love Jade/Roxy, just for reasons that don’t actually involve genuine romantic feeling

John focuses on the setting feeling sterotypically romantic, the diner, the pretty lights, the scene feeling right, looking at everything except her

and then that line about how Roxy’s eyes look like staring into the Void, Roxy being unreadable, and seeming to change between the routes, bringing up topics vaguely, like she’s fishing for an opinion of the person’s she’s talking to

Roxy is probably just a social chameleon, eyes like mirrors reflecting the person next to her

Looking into a mirror, you have to get past seeing your own face in the reflection, and somehow look behind your own head and that’s pretty hard to do in a mirror

then the boys immediately segue back into what it means to make the “right” choice, the “canon” choice

John understand in some way that its not enough to have only two choices, or the option to not choose at all

more and more the third option awakens, just what it will be remains to be seen, written in the leafy green

It’s not without intent that the number 3 is Canon:

Essential, True, and Relevant 

So far, Meat seems to carry what is “Essential” in that it technically fulfills timeloops, hits story beats and moves things along at a good pace in a proper story format, the skeleton layout, the barebones structure

But it feels Irrelevant and ingenuine to what the characters experience, so it feels unsatisfying, it doesn’t feel “right”

it doesn’t feel canon

Candy then is obviously not essential to the story at large, it’s made very clear what happens here is technically without meaning and many of the characters are inundated with that feeling of “it doesn’t matter” irrelevance

but it also is technically truth, this timeline does exist and it did happen, these are not fake events

But since it is ONLY “True”, but not essential or relevant, it feels unsatisfying, it doesn’t feel right

it doesn’t feel canon

What then are we left with? What is missing?

And there IS something missing, they make it very clear with the stuff from PesterQuest so far

You click on the last page of the Homestuck Epilogues, then you scroll down. You read it (1). Then you read it again (2). You scroll down to go to the next section (3) and find... nothing?

What kind of ending was that? Absolutely nothing got resolved!

aka, Nothing Mattered.

Nothing was actually relevant to the story we were told.

We’re missing that hidden third pillar.

John remembers those words, essential, true, relevant, but no other contextual remarks which bind them.

He lost why it matters, he’s lost the context for it entirely. 

Also, random Roxy note: “She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.”

Yup, she’s a social mirror, that’s why people have trouble getting a good read on her

“It makes his heart do a weird somersault. It tries to flip frontways (1), then backwards (2), and ends up landing on its face instead. (3)”

The Coin tried to flip heads, then tails, then ended up landing on it’s side

the more you look for it, the more evidence there is for that hidden third route, all of the text is cluttered with things happening in threes, first a couple of opposite situations, then a third unexpected one.

“ It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life. “

Told ya, John you got main character-ism, you can’t do anything about affecting people one way or another